Mouse-traps baited with paper towel.
Apparently the Demon Squirrel
She didn't chew up our plants this time, but she did rip the paper towels off the makeshift solarium El Husbando built around his hibernating Venus Flytrap (it's a long story.) Hence, mouse-traps baited with paper towels.
Have I mentioned El Husbando can be pretty obsessive about his plants? I mean, he's no match for me when it comes to weirdness, but still. Paper towels. As bait. For a squirrel.
What brought on this malevolence, you ask? What caused my mild-mannered, vegetarian husband to break out the weapons of mass destruction? Well, the perceived threat to his Venus Flytrap was certainly part of it, but the real military provocation came in the form of bioterrorism: he discovered not one, not two, but three (relatively) large piles of squirrel poo on our balcony. I admit, that's a fairly high poo-to-balcony ratio.
Groovin' peace-nik that I am, I squawked as soon as I saw the traps. El Husbando is of the opinion the mouse-traps would only scare the squirrel, not hurt it, while I think they could break her paw or wind up permanently attached to her tail, hampering the animal for life. So I poked his traps and promised to find a more humane way to drive off Our Furry Nemesis.
Having given the great god Google its favourite sacrifice (my free time), I am now equipped with my own weapon of mass destruction:
A spritzer bottle full of extra-spicy hot sauce. Apparently, demon squirrels don't like their nesting materials Cajun style.