Monday, March 14, 2011

India Trip Report (Part 1 of 3)

I travelled to India recently, and for the benefit of family members, I'm posting my trip report here on the blog. Because the report is looooong, I'll split it up over three postings.

Today's installment covers days 1 - 3 of the trip (hey, they were busy days!), next Wednesday's post will cover days 4 - 7, and next Monday's post will cover days 8 - 15.


My husband does not like his name appearing on my blog, so I've referred to him as "El Husbando" here. My family members can mentally swap in his real name :-)

Passage to India; February-March, 2011


This trip featured a lot of moments that could be described as culture "shock", although they were mostly just exciting. Regardless, because they weren't hugely noteworthy, I'll list these "Random Moments of Wow" as a bullet list on the appropriate days.


Day 1 - Feb. 19, 2011 - Arriving in Delhi, First Impressions

This was really the day JJ arrived in India; El Husbando had already been there for three weeks meeting with colleagues at institutes in Pune and Chennai.

From the air, Delhi has strings of bright street lights interspersed with large areas of softer light. Presumably, that's from home fires, as the whole city was scented with wood smoke when JJ arrived. The taxis at the airport look like they dropped out of a 1940s movie, and the trucks on the road were all decorated with paintings, strings of pompoms, and welded-on ornaments. They were thoroughly charming.

Delhi has a shortage of hotels, so our travel agency warned us our room would be clean but rudimentary. This turned out to be both accurate and inaccurate. We had a three-room suite with a nice bed and marble walls and floor, but the bathroom had a jury-rigged feel to it. The toilet did not have a tank but was instead attached, via a hose, to a faucet on the wall. The sink was completely modern, but when you looked under it, a hose dangled from it into drain on the floor. The shower was as you'd expect, but if you wanted hot water, you had to go down to the lobby and ask them to turn on the boiler. El Husbando said none of this was surprising based on what he'd seen so far at the institutes. Overall, we rather liked the room; it was functional, pretty, and quirky.

After getting some sleep and then breakfast, we took a cab to the National Museum. And everything we saw on the streets was just SO India! There were zillions of people, and although you saw some young women wearing jeans and t-shirts, most of them wore lovely traditional garb with jewel-bright colours, glittering sequins, and flowing chunnis (scarves worn over the head or around the shoulders and trailing down the back.) It was hard to believe that was their every-day wear.



The traffic was very free-form and flowing, with pedestrians, cars, and motorcycles weaving in and around each other liberally. Yes--you do see cows standing in the middle of the road and people just drive around them, but same goes for dogs and goats too. Drivers used their horns often, and later in the tour, our tour guide Yusef explained why.

Yusef said that when driving in India, there's so much going on in front of your car, it's not a good idea to take your eyes off the road to check your rear-view mirror too often. Thus, you use your eyes to keep track of what's going on in front of you, and your ears to keep track of what's going on behind you. The other drivers tap their horn to let you know they're there, and thus you don't need to shoulder-check very often.

In general, Indians display the common-sense courage that our (I'm speaking as a Canadian here) culture used to have back in the 50s. People ride motorcycles without helmets; they drive without seat belts; their kids go out alone to play with their friends beside busy streets. The over-protectiveness our culture has developed in the past half-century just isn't there--and why should it be when no one is behaving recklessly? We frequently saw families of four all riding on one motorcycle, or cars packed with eight or nine people, but we never saw anyone speeding or driving aggressively. It's generally quite safe.



The city itself showed that this was a developing nation, as everything you looked at either needed some repair or seemed unfinished. El Husbando said Delhi was extremely clean compared to the places he had seen so far. Later, JJ also saw some litter-clogged areas, but she noticed a correlation, too: the villages and towns that had livestock roaming around tended to be nicer places than those that only had people. The more rural a spot, the more pleasant it was. The larger cities, however, were an exception in that they also looked attractive and liveable.

The roads were almost always excellent. When we got out in the desert, we drove on some sketchy stuff, but India generally takes great care of its road system. The people, too, always seemed to be well dressed--even those who were obviously very poor. El Husbando saw more hardship while he was at the institute cities, but at least while on tour, we saw looooots of people and virtually no one looked scruffy.

Oh--the museum. I got a little side-tracked there, didn't I? The museum featured mostly artwork in the form of carved statues, cast statues, intricate "miniature" paintings (comparable in size to a sheet of paper, rather than something that covers a big swathe of wall), and decorative textiles. One thing we noticed for the first time there was that Indians will pay perhaps 20 rupees (40 cents Cdn) to get into a tourist attraction, whereas foreigners will pay perhaps 200 rupees ($4 Cdn). This makes sense, in that even Indians who are poor can enjoy their country's culture, and yet it's still a very cheap as far as the foreigners are concerned to do the same thing.



After the museum, we took an auto-rickshaw back to the hotel. Those beasties must be amazing on gas, because it only cost 100 rupees (about $2 Cdn) for a half-hour drive. In shape, the auto-rickshaws look a bit like a VW van from the 1960s, but they're smaller than a compact car, have open sides and only three wheels. JJ loved it; El Husbando was disappointed because he had ridden in much faster auto-rickshaws already.


Day 2 - Feb. 20, 2011 - Tours of Delhi

Random Moments of Wow:
  • We saw a laundry farm--a city block dedicated to washing and drying (on clotheslines) hotel linens.
  • On a bridge, a wool dyer had draped all his washed bundles of raw wool on the railings to dry.
  • We drove by the world's largest market for 2nd hand books. It's 7 km long.
  • We also drove by what has been knick-named the "Thieves Market" because it deals in all kinds of second-hand goods.
  • We saw a weasel! Neither of us had seen one in the wild before.
  • A golf course we passed not only had walls around, but also had razor wire lining the tops of those walls.

Our tour group started out with 14 people, although half of them split off a week later to go on separate tours. It was a good group, with a French family, an Icelandic couple, a Malaysian couple, one New Zealander, and a whole mess o' Australians. We were the only people from the Americas.

Our guide Yusef proved to be amazing. He could answer pretty much any question you asked, from culture to sports to industry to history. When the tour began, he struck me as quite reserved, but when the group got smaller, and it was clear that everyone was good-tempered and getting along well, he loosened up quite a bit and seemed to genuinely enjoy our company.

Our tours that day were to the Red Fort in Old Delhi, to the "Friday Mosque" near the fort, then to the cremation site of Ghandi, and then to lunch at a restaurant reputed to serve the best butter chicken in Delhi. After lunch, we went to a tomb reputed to be the architectural inspiration for the Taj Mahal, and the Qutab Minar, which is the world's largest minaret.

Things we learned from Yusef that day:
  • At any given moment, there are 5 million vehicles on the road in Delhi. However, commercial vehicles like taxis and buses run on compressed natural gas, which has helped reduce the pollution. Delhi has the world record for the most cars that run on this fuel.
  • When a city's name ends in "-bahd" or "-bad" (such as Hyderabad), that means it was founded by a Muslim ruler. When it ends in "-pur", that means it was founded by a Hindu ruler. Both words mean the same thing: "place". Thus, Udaipur roughly translates as "Udai's place", where Udai was the city's (Hindu) founder.
  • Recent excavations reveal that Delhi dates back to the 3rd century B.C.
  • Delhi officially has 18 million people, but is probably closer to 20 million. It's India's largest city by area, but Mumbai is larger by population.
  • Up until 1192, Delhi was ruled by Hindu leaders. Then it was invaded by Muslims, and the "Moghul" dynasty--which would last through 650 years, 17 rulers, and become one of India's most important dynasties--was established. The Moghuls were direct descendants of Genghis Khan through the female line and of Turks through the male line.
  • The first six Moghul rulers were the most important. The first four of them ruled in the city of Agra, but the 5th ruler moved the capital to Delhi because Agra reminded him too much of his deceased wife--who is best remembered as the woman the Taj Mahal was built as a tomb for. Yes, that fellow mourned hard.
  • The British moved the capital to Calcutta, then transferred it back to New Delhi. King George and Queen Mary came to lay down a foundation stone in Delhi, but it was laid in an inappropriate location. After they left, some locals quietly moved the stone closer to the river.

At the Red Fort, or Lal Quil'ah, we learned that when Indians call something a "fort", we should not be expecting a Spartan military structure--we should expect a palace! Construction began on the Red Fort in 1648, and the British added a few buildings to it while they were in power. The fort encloses a large garden full of fountains, two pavilions for the king to hold audiences in, and several smaller palace complexes.



The first pavilion we saw is called the "place of the common peoples" because the king would have audiences with the commoners there. The pavilion was carved sandstone with intricate stone screens behind the throne so royal ladies could watch the proceedings without being seen. These types of screens for the royal ladies were a common feature in all the palaces we saw.

The next pavilion was built to receive important guests and was all white marble with flower decorations inlaid directly into it in semi-precious stones. The colours of the inlays were amazing!



The pavilion once housed the famous "Peacock Throne", which was made with 250 kg (no, I did not mis-type that unit) of precious stones--including the famous Koh-i-noor diamond now owned by the British monarchy--and 1250 kg of gold. The throne, however, was said to be cursed as only two rulers sat upon it. The second was actually a Persian invader, and although most of the throne was dismantled and spirited away when he was deposed, some portions of the Peacock Throne still exist in the museum in Tehran, Iran.

It was at the Red Fort that we got our first taste of something that seemed pretty odd at first. The tourist sites are, of course, mostly full of Indians seeing their own country's history. Many of them haven't seen many foreigners except on television or in magazines. Thus, at these sites, the locals would often come up and ask members of our tour group if they could take a photo of themselves standing next to us. It was usually younger people, and they were always very polite and friendly, but it was startling the first time it happened! It's so strange to be thinking that you're in an exotic locale and then suddenly be reminded that no, you're the thing that's exotic here, not the locale!

El Husbando and JJ got their share of "photo ops", but the French family, who had light hair, and these two pretty Australian women, one of whom had very pale blue eyes, were the most popular. Our guide eventually started joking they should charge 10 rupees a photo like the men who walk around with tamed monkeys do.

Our next stop was at the so-called "Friday Mosque". At this point, we got to see how very tolerant of different religions India has always been. Just outside the Red Fort, there is a Jain temple (Jainism is an offshoot of Hinduism), followed by a Hindu temple, followed by a church, followed by a Sikh temple, and then the mosque we visited is just off to the side of them all.

We took a bicycle rickshaw through a market to get to the mosque, and that was pretty neat. The small, winding streets and general packed-to-the-gills state of the place certainly reminded us of the medina in Fez, from our last trip.

About 20,000 people come to pray at the mosque on any given day, and about 25,000 show up on Fridays. Thankfully, when we were there, it was just tourists and the plaza was thus empty enough to walk through. The mosque was the last building built by the 5th Moghul emperor, i.e. the one who built the Taj Mahal, before he was imprisoned by his son.



After the mosque, we went to the cremation site of Ghandi, which is a black marble slab in the middle of a lovely open garden. It was kept intentionally simple because that's how Ghandi lived his life.



After the cremation site, we drove to the Humayum Tomb, but on the way we got to see some of the more impressive government buildings and a large stone arch that commemorates the 90,000 Indian soldiers who died fighting for the British in WWI. Our guide Yusef also pointed out a field full of cricketers and noted that anywhere you see a bit of open space, you'll see people playing cricket. He jokingly referred to the sport as "India's national religion".

The Humayum Tomb was built by the widow of the 2nd Moghul emperor for her husband. He had an interesting life story, in that he lost his kingdom to an Afgan noble, went to the Shah of Iran for support, won his lands back in 1555, and then died in 1556 when he slipped on the stairs while hurrying to prayer one evening.



The tomb is thought to have been the architectural inspiration for the Taj Mahal, although it does not have the four minarets the Taj does. The building is also smaller (about 40 m, while the Taj is 74 m) and is made of sandstone with white marble trim, unlike the Taj, which is all white marble. There are about 100 graves at the site, all for close relatives of the king.

Decorating the front of the tomb is what looks like a few Stars of David, but these are actually a Hindu symbol depicting the joining of male and female energy. The male Hindu gods can create matter but not energy or life; the female gods do that. Thus, the joining of the two creates something special.

After the tomb, we visited the Qutab Minar, which was mind-blowing. It's the world's largest minaret, and it only gets more impressive as you get closer to it, because you begin to realize how detailed the decorations are. Some of them are huge, carved calligraphy. Also, there's a madrassa (school) behind the minaret that is equally beautiful, albeit in ruins.




The minaret is 800 years old, 732 m high, and was built in stages. The original 4th story was destroyed by lightning and replaced by two more stories, bringing it to its current height. There are 384 steps to the top, but tourists aren't allowed in it anymore after some deaths. Close to the minaret, a later king had begun constructing a minaret intended to be twice as big as the existing one. He died when it was only a few metres in height, and the project was abandoned.

The tower was never intended to be a working minaret (who would hear the imam singing from the top of something that high?) but as a show of power. It marked the eastern boundary of the territory they ruled when it was built. The mosque attached to it was also never a working mosque because some of its pillars were taken from a disused Hindu temple and thus depict gods and animals. Islam forbids the depiction of humans or animals.

Near the minaret is an iron pillar that is 1000 years old. It's a single piece of metal, no machines were used to construct it, and it still hasn't rusted! We scuttled out of the area just as a rainstorm started, so you know it isn't the dry climate that preserves that pillar.

After the tours, we visited a rug emporium and got a little demonstration of how they weave carpets, as well as a nice green tea with saffron and cardamom.


Day 3 - Feb. 21, 2011 - Driving to Agra, Tour of Taj Mahal

Random Moments of Wow:
  • We saw sweepers with twig-brooms cleaning off the sidewalks first thing in the morning.
  • There was a truck carrying women to work, and it was neat to see all their elegant, brightly-coloured head scarves bobbing around in the back of this battered old truck.
  • Everywhere we go, whether rural or urban, has a thick haze in the air. We've decided it must be water vapour. (Later in the desert, the air got clearer, but not completely clear.)
  • MONKEYS!!! Ahem. That is to say, we saw monkeys for the first time this day. They were sitting in the shade under the trees by the side of the highway.
  • We also saw those very sculpted-looking cows with high mounds on their shoulders, dangling neck-wattles, and very shiny, swoopy hipbones. (The locals must think tourists are insane, the way we go nuts over things like a cow.)
  • People mix cowpats with straw and dry the mixture to make a fuel for the rainy season. You see cowpats lined up like ceiling tiles all across people's roofs, particularly in rural areas. Apparently the ‘pats burn blue and without any smell.

This day was spent bussing to Agra with the intention of seeing the Taj Mahal at sunset. On the way, Yusef taught us some things:

What we learned:
  • Indian civilization starts at least as far back as 3,000 B.C. The British discovered red bricks that date back to then. Not much is known about those people, but they had sophisticated water storage and sewage systems.
  • By 1500 B.C., there was a caste system, but it wasn't as harmful as the one that developed. There were four castes, and people could move between them. (Teachers/Priests = Brahmins, Warriors = Shadriyas, Merchants = Vishiyas, and Farmers/Menial Workers = Shubras.) In 1000 B.C., the castes became rigid, and those without caste became the untouchables. The Brahmins became the supreme caste because they were literate, and they made the rules and began to exploit others.
  • Buddism and Jainism both rose in reaction to this exploitation, and in both cases, a member of the warrior caste started this new religion.
  • Buddha lived in the 6th century, and in his lifetime, Buddhism didn't catch on. In fact, because Buddhism challenged the supremacy of the Brahmins (anyone can attain the state of the Buddha), Buddhists were persecuted in the 7th century and the religion spread east. By the 9th century, Buddhism was wiped out in its birthplace of India. In the 12th century, a warrior had a crisis of faith in the wake of a war and converted to Buddhism. He sent out teachers, and Buddhism was re-established in India.
  • Jainism developed at roughly the same time as Buddhism, in the 6th century. Jainism is an extreme religion, but thankfully what they're extreme about is non-violence.
    • They are vegetarian, cover their mouth and nose when they go out to prevent inhaling an insect, and won't work as farmers for fear of killing insects as they till the soil.
    • This led them into gold-smithing, and so Jains, as a group, are very wealthy--they control about 90% of India's jewellery trade. However, they are not allowed to store wealth, i.e. to have savings. What they do not use, they must give to charity, and so there are many hospitals and services that have been built by Jains.
    • They do have some disturbing practices when it comes to death, however. They revere a fire god, so bodies are not cremated. Instead, they are put on high towers for birds of carrion to eat. However, pesticide use has damaged India's vulture population, and sometimes the consumption of the body doesn't proceed quickly enough, creating a smell that is a nuisance. Thus, electric cremations are catching on.
    • It's very rare nowadays, but some Jains, when they decide they are old enough and have done all they want to in life, will take a vow to refuse food and thus slowly starve to death. While still living, they are treated as gods. Suicide is illegal in India, and the government has asked Jains not to do this.
  • Sikhism is a young religion, and they've had a pretty robust start already.
    • Because the religion requires men to carry a dagger or knife, they've made useful warriors in a variety of situations.
    • A Moghul emperor killed a Sikh guru, so the Sikhs resisted the Moghuls.
    • In the 1970s and -80s, they were agitating for a separate Sikh homeland, but given that Punjab is the breadbasket of India, India wasn't willing to let them secede. When Indira Ghandi ordered police into the Sikh's (most holy) Golden Temple--and please note the police in India are forbidden to go into any temple--in order to confiscate the Sikh's weapons, a Sikh assassinated her.
    • Nowadays, Sikhism has been mainstreamed and India's government is having fewer problems with them.
  • The government is working hard to alleviate the oppression of the formerly-known-as-untouchables people. First, it's illegal to call someone an untouchable, and second, half of all jobs are reserved for the lowest castes. Also, education and medical help is free everyone, but books, school uniforms, and medicines are not--except for the poorest people.
  • In India, there are men who walk around with monkeys on leashes, and there are snake charmers, and there are people who sell peacock feather fans. However, Yusef advised us to not give any of them money because all of those practices involve animal cruelty. The monkeys are subdued with beatings, the charmers pull out the cobras' fangs and venom glands despite the snakes needing their venom to help digest food, and people poison the peacocks to get their feathers.
  • 8 of India's 10 prime ministers have come from Agra (the city we drove to on this day.)
We got to the Taj Mahal well before sunset and stayed long enough to see the sun go down. The entrance gate takes you into a garden, and then you turn right in order to pass through another gateway into the Taj Mahal's main garden. That gateway of course features the famous view of the Taj above its own reflection in the pool. No matter how stridently the tour guides instruct their groups to move to the side, everyone jars to a halt at that point, squeals incoherently, and then starts snapping a zillion pictures. It took our group about 10 (very excited) minutes to finally get to the meeting point Yusef specified.



The Taj's dome actually rests on a second dome, which is unusual but effective for bearing the weight of the upper structure. At the top of the upper dome is a carving of an inverted lotus blossom, and the gold spire above this represents a pot of ambrosia. The entire building is symmetric when viewed from the four directions. There is a mosque to the Taj's right, and an identical building to its left (which was used as a guesthouse because it faced the wrong direction to be a mosque too.) The fountains all spritz water to the same height, which was quite tricky to manage given the technology of the time.

The inner tomb is decorated with inlays of 27 different types of semi-precious stones in the shape of flowers and vines. The orange stone is carnelian, which is translucent, so Yusef pressed a flashlight up to it and showed us how the orange flowers could be made to light up like neon in the dark.

It is not true that the emperor cut off the architect's hands when the Taj Mahal was finished; he didn't want any negative associations with his wife's tomb. Instead, everyone was paid fairly according to their contribution, and the emperor even bought the land the Taj sits on from a sub-king in Jaipur despite the fact the emperor could have annexed it. He even gave that sub-king twice as much land in Agra to make up for the land the Taj sits on.

The building rests on a foundation of wells filled with bamboo and gravel. It's estimated the building could withstand an 8.0 Richter scale earthquake. The building's four minarets lean very slightly outward from the structure so that, if an earthquake knocks them over, they will fall away from the domes.

The Taj was built as a tomb for the 5th Moghul emperor's third wife, who was adored by the people as well as her husband, and who was given real power in her lifetime despite being a woman. When she married, her name was changed to Mumtaz Mahel, which means "chosen crown of the palace". She and the emperor were married for 17 years and she died giving birth to their 14th child.

It took the emperor 22 years to build the Taj, and he originally planned to build an identical, second Taj in black marble on the opposite side of the river, then join the two Tajs with a bridge. The foundations were laid for this, and you can still see them, but before any more work was completed, the emperor's third son killed his two older brothers, plus an accomplice younger brother, and then imprisoned his father and seized the empire.

The emperor spent his remaining 8 years of life in Agra Fort, where he was able to see Taj but not visit it. He was imprisoned with his remaining wives and concubines, but it's said he never touched another woman after Mumtaz Mahel passed away. After his death, he was entombed beside his wife, and the placement of his body is the only asymmetry that exists in the Taj Mahal.

The gardens of the Taj are large and serene, and when you get up to the building itself, you can take your shoes off (or put on little booties over them) and walk up to and into the Taj Mahal. It's a zoo in there; approximately 45,000 people visit the Taj every day.




After viewing the Taj, JJ took a quick look through the guest-house building on the Taj's left, and then she and El Husbando enjoyed the garden as the sunset changed the colour of the dome.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, March 13, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "Thrice-Born" by Sara Jane Wade

Sara Jane Wade has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for Thrice-Born. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Saturday, March 12, 2011

A Science Junkie Trawls the Internet

Here's a great article from Andrea Kuszewski in Scientific American:
You can increase your intelligence: 5 ways to maximize your cognitive potential
It's Scientific American! The chances of it being hucksterism are very low!

If you want to skip the explanations and get to specific advice on how to increase your IQ, scroll down to the second half of the article. The basic principles Ms. (Dr?) Kuszewski outlines are:
1. Seek Novelty
2. Challenge Yourself
3. Think Creatively
4. Do Things The Hard Way
5. Network
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I've often idly wondered if, by digging things up and putting them in our museums, we're inadvertently destroying the historical record of our planet for whoever inhabits it thousands of years from now. That is to say, what will archaeologists of the future have left to dig up after we've unearthed (and allowed to decay) everything that was down there originally?

The answer? Lost shipping containers! Anything that gets shipped can potentially be lost, and a lot of shipping containers do fall off their boats and sink. Just think what Easter-egg-like prizes are waiting for future archaeologists on the ocean floor right now--tractor engines! Microwaves! Ikea lamps! Enough Lego to build a life-sized rocket out of!

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How does fire behave in zero gravity?

The short answer? Like this:



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And finally, this is an insightful article about what it takes to create and foster a healthy online community.

The takeaway point for me is the assertion that when you have an invasion of trolls, or a flame war, or simply a toxic, tiresome environment in your comments section, that's not simply the nature of the internet--it's a filter failure.

And me reading this today is serendipitous timing, because I had been thinking about the commenting system on Gawker and its related sites after reading this article in Persephone Magazine.

I like the Gawker sites, and in general I think their filter system works. New users have to earn a "star" from the moderators by leaving comments that are intelligent contributions to the discussion. Until you have your star, your comments are only visible to those who click a link specifically to see the contributions of un-starred commenters.

In this way, the site filters out trolls and weak commenters, and the discussion section is usually pretty entertaining, with fewer people in it who break your brain.

The problem is the Gawker site Jezebel, which is supposed to be a sassy, feminist site for women. In addition to its strong articles, the site has a lot of awesome, eloquent commenters, but it has also accreted a subset of angry, unforgiving people who make reading the comment section so unpleasant that I've simply stopped doing it. I mean, I am a feminist, but I'm also a nice person, and I don't find it fun to see someone buried under a dogpile of vitriol for not toeing a very narrow party line. (I also don't want to dispute the treatment and risk being the person at the bottom of the dogpile. It's just the internet; it ain't worth the heart-ache.)

So how did Jezebel's filter fail? Well, based on this exchange, probably because its filter relies on a set of moderators, and a subset of them were angry, unforgiving people too. The site got the commenters it(s moderators) deserved.

Is it possible to fix the comment section for a site? Probably, but I doubt it's easy. Once a culture has been established in a place (whether that's a local pub or an internet forum), it tends to attract people who like that culture and repel those who don't. Plus, the ones who do like what they've found will self-police to maintain that status quo. We all like having a place to fit in.

Which brings me to say something I should say more often: I'm very thankful for all of you, because I really like the kind of commenters I get on this blog. You're all intelligent, funny, and very kind to one another. Thank you all, very much, for being awesome. :-)


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Free-Soloing a 5.12

As a former rock climber, I gotta say: WIN, kitty; epic WIN.



Image via the Failblog.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "A Rocket to the Moon" by Lisa

Lisa has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for A Rocket to the Moon. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Monday, March 07, 2011

Screeches in sideways, trailing smoke

Okay, so you know that real life busyness I mentioned as the reason for me not blogging too regularly these past few weeks? Well, I'll now admit that the busyness was more specifically that I was in India!

El Husbando and I toured the Rajastan area for two and a half weeks, then finished it off with a few days in Mumbai. In the next few weeks, I'll probably post a trip report with a few photos here on the blog. That's mainly for the benefit of my family, but obviously I'm happy with anyone reading it.

You'll see me around the internet again soon, but I'd better sign off for now before the jet-lag makes me say anything too loopy to you all. :-)

Next Morning's Edit: Five loads of laundry for two people, y'all. Holy crap.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "World Book" by Faraci

Faraci has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for World Book. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Cross-posted from The Query Goblin: Query-Craft, Part 2

I'm dealing with some real life hustle and bustle right now, so I'm cross-posting this query-writing tutorial from The Query Goblin. I hope you enjoy it!

Last week, I suggested that when you sit down to draft a query, you want to start by answering the following questions:
- Who is the protagonist?
- What is her situation?
- What kind of world is the novel set in?

The Inciting Incident:

- What is the story's inciting incident? I.e. What sudden change convinces the protagonist she must act?
------- What does the protagonist want?
------- What are the stakes if she fails?
------- What gets in the way of her getting what she wants?
------- What does she choose to do to obtain what she wants? What's her plan?

Escalation:

- What goes wrong with that plan?
- How does that increase the stakes?

- What is her next plan?

- What goes wrong with her next plan?
- How does that increase the stakes again?

- What (very hard thing) must the protagonist do to prevent (a very bad) disaster?
This week, I'll discuss how to craft your query from the answers to the above questions. But first, let me rant and rave and froth about brevity.

You only have about 250 words to spend in your query, so it's critical that you streamline the plot ruthlessly. Yes, your book is full of complex subtleties and lively minor characters, but you must leave all that sparkling awesomeness as a pleasant surprise for the agent/editor who requests pages. It must NOT go in the query.

Why? Because too much detail confuses the reader (badly) and it takes up too much space on the page, regardless.

Here are some tips for keeping your query simple:

- Only discuss the main plot of the novel. All subplots must be omitted.
------- Also, you may need to gloss over the subtleties of your plot, or even mildly misrepresent it, in order to make it sound logical in the query. This is painful, but it's more important for your query to be easy-to-understand than accurate.

- The only descriptions you should include are those the reader needs to know in order to understand the plot. Thus, don't mention that your protagonist is a sexy, thirty-year-old redhead, but if she's going to be forced at gunpoint to perform surgery on the villain, go ahead and describe her as a doctor.

- Keep proper nouns to a minimum. That means names and placenames.
------- Your protagonist should be referred to by name. The love interest and the villain can be named also. Everyone else should be referred to by their function within the story, not their name. For example, say "the priest" rather than "Father Ramchandra".
------- Likewise, omit placenames. However, in fantasy, science fiction, and historical novels, including a placename can help establish what type of novel you've written and what sort of world the protagonist lives in. It's a judgment call; do whatever you think makes the query easiest to understand.

Alright; now, let's get to the business of writing the query!

I've heard it suggested that the query letter should focus on the inciting incident only. This has merit, because the inciting incident is the hook that leads the reader into the story, so it may also be the hook that most efficiently grabs the agent/editor's interest.

That said, I prefer to include more detail about the book than just the inciting incident, and I do so by the method outlined below.

First Paragraph:

I start by isolating what the essential conflict in the book's inciting incident is. Then, I try to cram that conflict into the first paragraph. In a sense, I'm using the book's inciting incident as a logline to hook the reader's interest right away.

Remember that the promise of conflict is fiction's most effective lure. It's what keeps people compulsively turning the pages, and so it will also hook an agent/editor into a query.

Now, look back over your answers to these questions:

1) Who is the protagonist?
2) What is her situation?
3) What kind of world is the novel set in?
4) What is the story's inciting incident?
-------4(a) What does the protagonist want?
-------4(b) What are the stakes if she fails?
-------4(c) What gets in the way of her getting what she wants?
-------4(d) What does she choose to do to obtain what she wants? What's her plan?

Answering all of this is our target for the first paragraph, and we only have a few sentences to do it in. The first sentence should answer questions (1) and (4) immediately, and should hopefully establish the conflict between 4(a) and 4(c). If it doesn't, then the second sentence should. Yes, we have to move that fast.

The next sentence should then address 4(b).

So what about (2) and (3)? If possible, they should be implied as we go along, rather than stated outright.

For example, if your first sentence starts with, "When a wizard flattens Zenestral's pub and threatens to kill her unicorn foal...", that makes it obvious what kind of world the novel is set in and what kind of person Zenestral is. (2) and (3) are now answered (in addition to (1) and (4)) and we were able to focus on the yummy conflict, not the boring background details.

4(d) we can leave for the next paragraph. If you've covered (1)-4(c), you should have a solid and intriguing first paragraph.

After the First Paragraph:

In the next paragraphs--and you can have one or several, as you see fit--you're going to focus on the escalation of the story. Recall these questions:

4(d) What's her plan?

5) What goes wrong with/complicates the first plan?
6) How does that increase the stakes?

7) What is the protagonist's next plan?

8) What goes wrong with/complicates it?
9) How does that increase the stakes again?

10) What (very hard thing) must the protagonist do to prevent (a very bad) disaster?

At this stage you should be thinking about the big picture, not the incremental small steps that lead the protagonist onward from the inciting incident. You should get the antagonist (human or otherwise) introduced and explain how his plans are the obstacles/complications for the protagonist.

You also want to be focusing on escalation and the promise that a huge confrontation is coming. The reader should clearly see that life is getting riskier and more difficult for the protagonist.

I find it's a good tactic, in this part of the query letter, to state what the protagonist needs (goal), then immediately mention what gets in her way (obstacle/complication), and then mention the stakes.

So, for example:

"Zenestral knows it's time to flee to yet another new town,[PLAN] but this time she has a son,[COMPLICATION] and if they leave now, the local earth spirit will curse him and doom the boy to the same unlucky life Zenestral has suffered.[STAKES]"

I keep repeating this triplet of goal/obstacle/stakes to flesh out the rest of the plot's escalation, always making sure the stakes continue to rise. As soon as the reader understands the full danger and difficulty of the book's main conflict, then the query ends without giving them any resolution or release of tension. I wrap it up in a final paragraph with the genre and word count, any credentials, and I thank the agent/editor for their consideration.

In other word, the conflict of question (10) is your cliffhanger. You end with the reader wondering what happens next, forcing them to request pages to satisfy their curiosity.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Cross-posted from The Query Goblin: Query-Craft, Part 1

I'm dealing with some real life hustle and bustle right now, so I'm cross-posting this query-writing tutorial from The Query Goblin. I hope you enjoy it!

This week, I'll concentrate on how to begin writing a query--what information you need and what story elements you should focus on.

The first thing to understand is that your job in a query letter is not to summarize a 300-word novel in 250 words--your job is to make whoever reads that query desperate to get their hands on the book itself.

So how do you do that? The same way you compel someone who is reading the first chapter of your book to compulsively plough through to The End--with the promise of conflict.

People become desperately curious to learn what happens next when they can smell a major confrontation on the horizon. This is why an escalating argument is so hard to ignore--you feel you need to find out how bad the fight is going to get and who will win.

Thus, in your query letter, you want to make the reader believe that all hell is about to break loose--and then leave them dangling, with no idea of how it ends. This should effectively make them frantic to read the book itself.

(Note that when I say "all hell is about to break loose", that can also mean a quiet, internalized hell. Introspective novels also focus on escalating conflicts, but the conflict can take place inside the protagonist's head or heart.)

So how do you convince the reader of the query that your book has a juicy, riveting confrontation lurking at the end of it?

I'm actually going to save that discussion until the Feb. 27th, 2011, blog post, but today I will explain how to identify which the story elements you'll use as building blocks to assemble that enticing query with.

One thing to note is if you've written a good book, then you have all the raw material you need to write a good query letter too. You might not know how to yet, but the content you need already exists in the form of Building Blocks 1 and 2, listed below.


Building Block 1; The Inciting Incident

The story's inciting incident is the moment when the protagonist's world changes--usually unpleasantly--and forces them to take action to improve the situation.

The inciting incident usually sets up a dilemma for the protagonist, too. If they don't act, there will be a penalty (the "stakes"), and if they do act, there will be hardships to overcome (the obstacles).

Note the inciting incident does not have to turn out to be an important part of the story. For example, the inciting incident of the Harry Potter books is when Harry gets a letter inviting him to attend wizard school. However, Harry's destiny turns out to be destroying the evil wizard Voldemort, so in hindsight, that exciting letter he got wasn't such a big deal.


Building Block 2; The Escalation: Goal, Obstacle/Complication, Stakes

Once your protagonist has been forced to act, he has to choose a plan. As soon as he tries to implement that plan, things go awry in the form of obstacles and complications. The obstacles/complications force the protagonist to come up with a new plan, and they also increase the stakes (i.e. the penalties for failure.)

For example:

Inciting incident: Luke Skywalker discovers a hologram of Princess Leia in his droid. He is so entranced by her image that he cannot ignore her plea.

Stakes: A stranger will be hurt if he does nothing, and Luke's too good-hearted to allow that.

Goal: Visit Ben Kenobi and ask if he knows who this "Obi-wan Kenobi" Leia is trying to contact is.

Obstacle/Complication: The droid goes missing.

New Stakes: Not only can Luke not help the pretty lady, but his uncle is gonna kill him for losing the new droid.

New Goal: Go find that droid.

New Obstacle/Complication: Luke finds both Ben and the droid, but learns he's more personally connected to Leia's fight than he knew. Ben says Luke's father was killed by Darth Vader, the same person Leia is fighting, and Ben wants Luke to leave the planet to help fight Vader.

New Stakes: Luke is asked to sacrifice his entire way of life for Leia and Ben's fight.

New Goal: Say no and go home. This is too big.

New Obstacle/Complication: Storm Troopers, looking for the droid, have killed Luke's family.

New Stakes: Luke's life is in danger, and he now has a potent personal desire to fight Vader.

New Goal: Go with Ben Kenobi and stop Darth Vader.

Et cetera. The thing to note here is that every time Luke tries to do something to get to his immediate goal, the situation changes to both increase the stakes and force him to form a new plan to reach a new goal.

Now, how to turn this into a query letter? That discussion I'll defer to Feb. 27th, 2011, but here is a list of things you want to think about before you begin to assemble your query:

Questions to Answer Before Drafting Your Query:

- Who is the protagonist? What is her situation, and what kind of world is the novel set in?

The Inciting Incident:

- What is the story's inciting incident? I.e. What sudden change convinces the protagonist she must act?

- For the story's inciting incident, answer the following questions:

------- What does the protagonist want?

------- What are the stakes if she fails?

------- What gets in the way of her getting what she wants?

------- What does she choose to do to obtain what she wants? What's her plan?

Escalation:

- What goes wrong with that plan?
- How does that increase the stakes?

- What is her next plan?
------- At this point, you want to start thinking big. The inciting incident is small; the main plot of the book is big. Think BIG.

- What goes wrong with the next plan?
- How does that increase the stakes again?

- What (very hard thing) must the protagonist do to prevent (a very bad) disaster?
------- Note this should outline the book's major conflict, i.e. the event that constitutes your big climax.

On Feb. 27th, 2011, I'll explain how to begin crafting the answers to these questions into a query letter.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Attack of the Clones


You know, I'm starting to have a problem with urban fantasy books.

No, no--not with their content--with the fact that I can't tell them apart anymore. The covers all seem to feature the same image: a svelte, beautiful Caucasian brunette is standing in the dark wearing revealing black clothing and carrying guns and/or knives.

I guess it's good marketing (or to be more precise, "positioning"), because at a single glance, I can say, "Yep. That's an urban fantasy novel."

Good luck getting me to recognize a particular series based on the cover, however. Books are not widgets, and one novel is not interchangeable with another, but the images slapped on their fronts certainly are. Once, I even bought a book that I'd already read because its cover was so generic I didn't recognize it as something I'd seen before.

It's a little like those romance novels from the 80s that always featured a flowing-locked woman in the arms of a flowing-locked, shirt-impaired man. You knew right away that was a romance novel.

(Actually, the women were shirt-impaired too, but only above the nipple-line. However, I digress.)

I guess this is what happens when a genre or sub-genre becomes extremely popular. If the customers are snapping up those books like candy, then the publishing industry might as well establish some branding, not just for single authors, but for the whole genre.

The logic is, if you put a something in a candy bar wrapper, the public will assume it is a candy bar and consider buying it whenever they're in the mood for a candy bar--even if it's a confection they've never tried before. Thus, if you put an urban fantasy book in an urban fantasy wrapper, you can be assured of a few sales to people who haven't heard of that author but who love urban fantasy.

However, this tactic flummoxes people like me, who like a leeeettle bit of urban fantasy every now and again. When I go to buy that leeeettle bit, I'm faced with a brick wall of covers that all look alike and there's no easy way to find that one series I tried a while back and sorta liked. (Especially if I don't actually remember the author or title, heh.)

The situation wasn't always like this. When C. E. Murphy started out, her urban fantasies featured some lovely, light-toned covers:


And now? Um.


Not that this isn't a beautiful cover, because it really is, but it isn't distinctive beyond being very, very obviously an urban fantasy novel.

And, of course, the authors have no say in this. Their publisher chooses the cover, and the publishers are appealing mainly to the voracious urban-fantasy-gourmands out there--not to people like me, who just want some urban fantasy tapas.

Do any of you have this issue, or am I just getting senile? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

(Well...if you think I'm senile, maybe I don't want to hear it. But at least I won't be mad at you for long! Wait--what were we talking about again?)


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "Spirits of the Unknown" by Orlando

Orlando has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for Spirits of the Unknown. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Cats in Zero Gravity...

...are much less deadly than I would have expected.

Okay, this video is interesting, but a little distressing because the kitties do get freaked out. If you're sensitive about animals, please don't watch this.

That said, it's really intriguing to see how the animals try to "always land on their feet" when the direction "down" no longer exists.

Of course, I was predicting they would become ballistic, living shurikens and eviscerate all the humans involved--probably while yodelling out those horrible gobbling noises cats make when they want you to know shit just got real.

Thankfully, these particular feline overlords were--in the name of science--very gracious about not killing everything in sight.



Link via io9.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Monday, January 31, 2011

Reading, 'Riting and Ripping 'Em Off


I read a discussion of online piracy a while back that noted that merely saying to someone that DRM (digital rights management) doesn't stop piracy isn't actually a persuasive argument.

Why? Because the people trying to stop online piracy would like to know what will work. Until you've got a better suggestion than DRM, they're not going to dismantle what little protection they've got.

Then, while I was still thinking about what can be done to stop piracy, I read the following eye-popping article by Tobias Buckell:


His take on fighting piracy is definitely the approach most likely to maintain your sanity. He essentially says just don't worry about it.

The article is really worth reading, but here's a summary of Mr. Buckell's main points:
  1. It isn't fair to say a pirated book is a lost sale because the people who pirate your book never intended to buy it. They were never going to be your customer, therefore you haven't lost any money.

    If you made it impossible for them to steal your book, they would not choose to purchase it instead. For whatever reason, they don't believe your book is worth the money.

  2. Yes, you're angry that someone read your book and refused to pay for it. However, when it comes to business decisions, it's better to get your emotions out of the equation and consider whether you are actually being done financial harm.

  3. The best data on whether piracy harms authors currently implies that piracy neither hurts nor helps sales.

    Thus, the people claiming their sale numbers are being gutted by piracy are wrong, and the people claiming that giving away work for free is the key to boosting one's sales are also wrong.

    Book piracy plays a role similar to second-hand book sales. The author gets another reader, but no extra money. If you can stomach the existence of second-hand book stores, you should be able to stomach piracy.
The central point here is that the vast majority of people who want your book are willing buy it legally. Thus, wisdom dictates you worry about the things you can actually control.

You cannot control piracy.

You can, however, write such great books that you turn a few pirates into fans and thereby convince them they should maybe shell out for your next novel.

In other words: don't worry, be happy.

~~~~~~~

What do you think of both Mr. Buckell's article and this mindset? Of course theft is wrong--but is it worth worrying about when you're not being financially harmed?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!



Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, January 30, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "The Family Grim" by Taylor

Taylor has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for The Family Grim. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Friday, January 28, 2011

Linky-Love!

Yes, I'm a geek and anything with hard, cold data involved makes me squee with delight, so it'll come as no surprise I thought the following post by Deanna Knippling was brilliant:
From How to Fail, Part 3: Talent vrs. Work
by Deanna Knipplin
g

"They told half the kids that they were really intelligent; they told the other half of the kids that they had really worked hard on the test.

...

The psychologists came to the conclusion that you should praise children for the things they can control–like hard work.

[A]s writers, can we take from that? A few things:
  • If you think (or have been told) you’re talented, you’re more likely to fail after your first setback.

  • If you think you’re talented, you’re less likely to try something challenging or new.

  • If you think you’re a hard worker, you’re more likely to succeed after your first setback than you are when you first start out.

  • If you think you’re a hard worker, you’re more likely to try something challenging or new.
People who think of themselves as hard workers succeed more, doing harder things. People who think they have some kind of magical inherent talent fail more, doing easier things."


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Thursday, January 27, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "Orion: The Reunion" by Kay

Kay has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for Orion: The Reunion. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

down teh rabbit hole

omg so i hav 2 tell you what happned to me this 1 tiem. it was liek falling down the rabbit hole; craziest story evah

it was the day after halloween an i woke up real early. it was sunny an nice but real windy and i decided i would go for a morning run on teh seawall.

so i got out there and it was sooooo pretty with big whietcaps on the ocean an surf pounding up against the wall and the trees were hissing and i was having a good run,really feeling in tune with nature,u know? and liek out of nowhere,this WALL of water jumps up from bhind the seawall and pounces me an it was SO COLD. i mean it was Nov 1 and WINDY out,omg

so i come running out of teh splash zone and some random guy's walking toward me. and he's tryin not to laugh and you can tell he's bursting his spleen or something,poor guy but he doesn't laugh which was nice so i keep running because i'm COLD and what can i do?at least it will warm me up

DON"T GET BORED BCAUS THIS STORY"S GOING TO GET SO INTERESTING IN A SECONG,OK?

so i keep going and my nippls are like pencil erasers and my skin is all speedbumps, an i'm just started 2 gett dry and warmed up when it happens AGAIN.

omg i wanted to cry

but no1 saw me that time,haha so at least i won't be sued for busting another guys spleen,right? LOL. and other than being FREEZING i was having a good run so i kept going but i stayed on teh far side of the path bside the trees instead of the water.

yah so it's Nov 1? and there r autumm leaves on teh path? and i'm running trough them? an yeah,so my ankle finds this hole in teh pavement that my eyes didn't see bcaus of all the STOOPID leaves and BLAMMO.

and oh crap i'm flat on my face and now i've got this nice couple helping 2 spatula me up off teh pavement an i'm bleeding everywhere and mostly just embarrassed so i decide its time to WALK home. no more running,JUST WALK.

and it's still a preety day and i'm mostly concentrating on all my ouchies so i don't notice i'm walkign by the water side of the seawall again

an then there's a third wave. ,only this tiem i feel it grab me and i'm not kidding i feel these cold fingers on my arms

an suddenly i'm loosing my balance,and this thing in the waves-or maybe it's made of teh waves,i don't know-is pulling me into the ocean and its STRONG. and,liek,the fear shocks through me like a lightningbolt that's coldr than teh water because HELLO. HANDS. waves r not supposed to have HANDS,right

and i kind of try to scrunch down so i'mnot as tippy,u know? i'm tryin to get my balance. but it dusn't work and this thing,it pulls me off the wall. i land in teh water and its so cold my chest kind of cramps an i don't think i could have breathed evn if my head was out. an this thing is pulling me DOWN,and i think,whut. i just start kicking. i'm scratching at the water liek i can hurt it,but i can't,and i don't know what way is up nemore.

and its weird,but my fingers snag on this piece of wood floating in tere with me and i,liek,feel this BLAST of relief-like i'm saved now or something

BUT THAT"S NOT TEH CREEPY THING THE CREEPY THING IS I TOTALLY WAS!!!

liek,as soon as i touch that wood,the cold hands let me go as if i burned them. so now i'm just swirling and thinking i can't breathe down here,and then the wood starts to bob in one direction an i realize that's UP and i start kickin like crap

so i get my head up from the water,and i'm bobbing at the bottom of the seawall and i want OUT bcaus i'm thinking that thing won't stay gone long,and the wind is nuts and the trees are all roaring,and it's way to high for me to climb out-or so i THOUGHT bcaus right then i feel something TOUCH me in teh water HOH SHIT and NOW I'M CLIMBING LIKE A FREAKING MONKEY.

but i keep the stick of wood,,and i stop and stab it at the water a bit-and then i sortof think,this is stupid. if i wait much longer tehn i won't be able to climb out at all bcaus the adrenilin will wear off so i boogie up the wall and i get out.

and omg. u remember i said it was windy? and teh trees were roaring? well they're roaring WORDS. an i cant understand but they sound all evil,like YOU OWE US or something,and i think,WHUT,and 2 hell with this,yes i am going to RUN now. HOH CRAP I AM GOING TO RUN.

an it was so weird bcaus there were other people on the seawall,like,it was broad daylight,not spooky or nething. i dont know why this happened to me,halloween was the night BEFORE and its not like nature could get the dates wrong,right?

neway,i am only going to jog on the road from now on.***


***The weirdness of Rabbit Hole Day aside, some parts of this story are true.

Disappointingly, they were the bits about getting drenched, freezing my t*ts off, and then doing a face-plant.



Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

From The Query Goblin: "The Time Weaver" by Xetheriel

Xetheriel has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for The Time Weaver. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Aversion is Your Boon

I once heard a literary agent say that if your book doesn't offend anyone, it probably isn't moving anyone either. Today's post explores that idea.


The dating website OkCupid has a blog, OkTrends, where they analyse their data and often pull out surprising insights into human relations and human beings.

In their post The Mathematics of Beauty, they note an interesting phenomenon. When they graphed how many (heterosexual) men contacted a (heterosexual) woman as a function of that woman's perceived attractiveness, there was a big spread in the data.

That is to say, one pleasant-seeming woman who was rated as "cute" might get twice as much mail as another pleasant-seeming woman who also rated as "cute"--and why was that, if they were equally attractive?

What the data-crunchers found is that it wasn't a woman's average rating that mattered, but rather the amount by which she polarized opinion.

A classically pretty woman would have a bell-shaped attractiveness rating, with most people considering her "cute" and smaller numbers of people rating her either prettier or less-pretty than that.

However, a pretty woman with unconventional features, or atypical makeup, or facial piercings and visible tattoos, would often have an inverted bell in her attractiveness rating, with the majority of people considering her one of the extremes--either "hot" or "ugly". Her overall rating might average out to "cute", but she really evoked much stronger reactions from people than that.

The data-crunchers found that the latter sort of woman--the polarizing figures--were the ones who overwhelmingly got more interest from would-be mates. It was far better to have a few people consider you ugly than to have the majority of people consider you (merely) cute.

So how does this relate to writing? You can probably guess. Think of all the times you've read about/heard a literary agent saying, "I have to fall in love with the book to offer representation." They don't get excited if they think your novel is merely "cute"; they have to think it's "omg-hawt".

Have you ever heard of the book Lolita? How about American Psycho? Or Fight Club? I don't even read the genres these books fall into and yet I've heard of every one of them because they were polarizing novels. They horrified some people and electrified others. In dating terms, they were the woman with the dreadlocks and the tongue stud.

This implies that when it comes to writing (and maybe life) you should put your quirkiness very firmly on display. Courage is attractive, and playing it safe might not get you anywhere at all.

There is a nice corollary to this principle, too. If you ever have the misfortune to have someone blow up at you because of your writing--to get emotional and tell you the work stinks, that it's offensive, that it will nevereverEVER be published--that may be a very good sign indeed.

Because what one person hates is often what another person adores. If you're provoking emotion, then potentially you're doing something very, very right.

~~~~~~~

What do you think? When is it prudent to be safe, and when should you wave your freak flag high? Do you think books that are good-yet-weird really do better than books that are good-like-the-other-good-stuff? Can being different help you break into publishing, or will it get in the way?

Or is it, like so many things, a matter of degree? Where's the line between "fresh" and "inaccessible"? I'd love to hear your thoughts!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Friday, January 21, 2011

Awww...Ooza Iddy Biddy Monstrous Killer?

I lived in the arctic as a kid. Polar bears are freakin' dangerous animals.

So I never, ever, ever thought I'd find one this darned cute. Squee!

UPDATE: It's a liiiiiiiie!! Yeah, I guess this boopable sweetums was just too small to be real. This is apparently a toy someone found on Etsy. (Damned cute toy, though.)



Image via The Daily Squee

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The First Week | The First Paragraph



The first week of The Query Goblin site has been much more successful than I thought it would be! Thank you everyone who checked it out or mentioned it elsewhere on the internet. I do appreciate that.

Erm, please forgive me if I keep talking about it? Heh.

I've already learned something--about myself, as opposed to Great Over-Arching Wisdom™ about query letters in general--and I'd like to talk about it here.

On the new site, I'm roughly following the advice of two literary agents with regard to structuring a query: (1) Kristen Nelson, who suggests outlining the inciting incident that kick-starts your plot, and (2) Janet Reid, who says you need to get across who the protagonist is, what they want, what gets in their way, and what's going to happen if they don't achieve their goal.

Both of these tactics make sense, and a good query probably uses both. Let me explain why I like them.

Kristin Nelson's method:
When it comes to writing queries, one of the things writers tear their hair out over is the problem of packing three hundred pages' worth of plot into two hundred and fifty words.

The fact is, you shouldn't try to.

The query letter's purpose is to entice the editor or literary agent into requesting the manuscript. All the query has to do is pique their interest.

Now think about what hooks any reader into a story: It's the promise that things are about to get interesting.

Harry Potter gets a letter saying he's been accepted to wizard school! Lucy Pevensie discovers a wardrobe that leads into a snowy forest! Ilsa walks into Rick's bar in Casablanca!

In other words, it's the tension implicit in your story's inciting incident that makes your reader curious enough about how it all resolves that they're willing to plough through another three hundred pages to find out what happens.

This means the book's inciting incident is one thing that will very economically--in terms of the number of words you use--convince an agent/editor that they want to see more.

Janet Reid's method:
This method forces you to communicate the essence of what your story's main conflict is. It tells the reader who the protagonist is, what they need, what's keeping them from getting it, and why it'll be a disaster if they don't get it.

Giving all this information also provides the reader with a promise that things are going to get interesting, but it does so in a way that encapsulates a lot more of the book's plot.

You see, the main conflict of a novel may or may not include the story's inciting incident. For example, in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, the inciting incident is indeed Harry getting a letter saying he's been accepted to wizard school--but the main conflict is Harry trying to keep the Philosopher's Stone from being stolen by Lord Voldemort.

A query letter could equally-well concentrate on the "Ooh, cool!" idea of a young boy unexpectedly finding out he's a wizard, or on the "Oh no!" idea of a young boy unexpectedly having to defeat a very scary, very powerful enemy. Both could be gripping.

The second method tells the agent/editor more about the whole book than the first does, which might be a factor in you choosing one over the other, but even Janet Reid recently loved a query that focused exclusively and very successfully on a story's inciting incident. You can read it here.

What the two methods have in common is they provide focus. They tell you what to include in your query letter in order to, very economically, hook a reader's interest.

My method:
Oh--I said I'd learned something about myself, didn't I? Yeah, maybe I should get around to telling y'all that.

The thing I've noticed myself doing in every one of the edited queries on The Query Goblin is I try to figure out what the essential conflict in the inciting incident is, and then I try to cram it into the first paragraph.

In Query #1, the inciting incident's tension comes from the fact that Hagai just got a birthday present from the mother he thought was dead.

In Query #2, the inciting incident's tension is due to Anaiiya thinking she's human, only to fly into a supernatural killing frenzy when her family is attacked.

Query #3 is a little different in that the conflict I outline isn't the story's inciting incident, but it is what prompts the character Bane into taking steps to get what he needs. It's the inciting situation.

In Query #4, Ehlana saves someone from assassination only to wind up in political hot water over it. The tension comes from a good person being punished for a good deed.

But wait! Before we move on, I want defend myself a bit. You might have noticed in the edited version of Query #4 that I added something that is not necessarily in the book! Now why the hell would I do that?

Because it added tension. In the rewritten version, I mention Ehlana's magical gift prematurely and implied she is beginning to regret having it. In the book, that may not be true, but in the query, it makes the mention of her gift later seem less abrupt, and it also adds a layer of internal tension to the inciting incident.

More tension = a stronger promise to the reader that this book is going to get interesting.

In Query #5, the tension in the inciting incident is completely internal. Jack feels like he should be happy to be at a new school, but he isn't. That fact is expanded on in the second paragraph, but I made damn' sure it was obvious to the reader even in the first.

Which brings me to my point: What is a hook?

A hook is also a promise that things are going to get interesting. A hook is a conflict that the reader can immediately see won't resolve easily.

When it comes to queries, I work on the assumption that agents and editors read the slush pile with bloodshot eyes and a two-micron fuse. If the first paragraph of the query letter doesn't make them perk up a little, then they're going to skim it all and slap it out of the room with a form rejection. I believe you've got to break them out of their funk right away.

Thus, the first paragraph is where I put the inciting incident's conflict. It's the lure that makes the reader want to continue through rest of the query letter, which--hopefully--will make them want to read the entire book.

Now, after all those words explaining why I write this kind of opening paragraph, I think I'd better refrain from talking about what I think should go in the rest of the query letter for another time!

~~~~~~~

What do you think? Is this a good way to start a query letter, or do you think the first paragraph should be used for other things, like establishing the main character or the world of the novel?

Do you think I'm wrong about needing to "wake up" the agent/editor with a fast shot of conflict right at the beginning of the letter?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of this!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

The Query Goblin presents: "From the Neighborhood" by Merry Monteleone

Long-time blog buddy Merry Monteleone has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for From the Neighborhood. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Saturday Silliness

I use Google Reader, and I have a folder of "silly" blogs, which I find is a nice antidote to my folder of "news" blogs.

I don't know if I'm over-tired or what, but I enjoyed the heck out of that folder tonight. Here are some of the images that made me either laugh like an idjit or squeal like Justin Beiber fan:

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BATS ARE CUTE! NO ONE BELIEVES ME! HERE! I'LL PROVE IT!



Via The Daily Squee

Go here to see more pictures of the baby fruitbats. They're adorable!


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THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE A PETTY-MINDED BOSS



Via The Daily Squee

~~~~~~~

YOU CANNOT SHAME ME, CORPORATE SLAVES



Via The Fail Blog


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Question!

Hello, all--just a quick question: Do you want me to keep cross-posting Query Goblin announcements here, or would you rather I omit them from OxyJen?

While the Query Goblin site is young, it makes sense for me to cross-post things in order to get the word out, but I also understand this practice could become annoying to those who want to manage for themselves which blogs they read.

Please let me know in the comments what you would prefer--and feel free to post anonymously if that would make you more comfortable stating what you think!

Thank you for your attention.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

From The Query Goblin: "Hang the Thief" by Vivian

Vivian has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for Hang the Thief. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

From The Query Goblin: "Redemption" by Amy

Amy has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage the query for Redemption. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

New on The Query Goblin: "Eyes of Stone" by Beckahrah


Beckahrah has graciously allowed Goblin to massage the query for Eyes of Stone. Please pop by and see/say what you think!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Query Goblin's first client!


Adam Heine has graciously allowed the Goblin to massage his query for Air Pirates. Please pop by and see/say what you think!

Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm posting this for the benefit of my parents, who visited Australia recently, and my cousin and his wife, who live there.

This is some utterly jaw-dropping footage of flooding in Queensland. Behold how Mother Nature empties a parking lot:



Link found via Gawker


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Introducing the Query Goblin


So.... I really enjoy giving critiques. I love the act of analysing what works, articulating what doesn't, and trying to come up with better solutions. I love to feel like I'm teaching--like I'm helping.

I haven't done much critiquing lately because I tend to go overboard and I worry that I'm overbearing because of that. Also, because I go overboard, I get burnt out if I critique anything longer than a few pages.

A few days ago, blog-buddy Adam Heine asked for a query letter critique on Twitter, and I took him up on it.

And oh, it was fun. It was everything you want when you give a critique: the query was already well-written, I felt I gave some useful and concrete advice on how to make it better, and Adam was very generous and complimentary in his thanks.

And now I've got the itch again, darn it.

I've been thinking for a few years I'd like to start my own critique blog, but of course there are already a lot of very good ones out there. Also, I don't want to either burn out or be overbearing, and I do want to create a site that focuses on improvements, rather than simply pointing out all the things that a person did wrong.

Well. Here's my attempt to do this:

I don't know how successful The Query Goblin blog will be, but at least it is very different from other sites, and I think I'll enjoy running it.

If you have a query you'd like to toss into the Goblin's maw to get things started--or you know somebody who does--please point them my way! And thank you very much for checking out the site.


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Monday, January 03, 2011

What Works: Furs and Ice by Josh R. Vogt

Today's excerpt for the "What Works" blog series is not an excerpt at all, but an entire story--specifically a piece of flash fiction written by blog-buddy Josh R. Vogt for the Clarity of Night competition.

Furs and Ice
By Josh R. Vogt

All futures hide in the clouds, Father told him. Trap the sky beneath your feet, and walk what must come.

As Omen trudges onto the frozen lake, he scratches at the wolf pelts cloaking him. Oracles always wear stinking furs.

Such is our way, Father said.

Omen hates stinking furs. He smells the rancid unguent Father drank each morning, trying to ward off the bleeding cough. Its stench tainted the old oracle's breath, his bowels, the hide walls of their hut. Now it follows like Father's ghost, come to see the son's first foretelling.

He reaches the middle of the lake and stands amidst the gray reflections of cloud and twig and crag. Omen stomps. Ice shrieks. Its polish shatters into a maze of cracks. The reflections within no longer move, trapped for his scrutiny. Trapped, just as he is. Forever an oracle, wearing the stinking furs of a babbler.

Omen's feet are numbing. Skin sticks to the ice as he steps towards shore. He hunches, looking for signs to convey.

There, branches knot in a telling of early summer. Beside this, a rounded cliff predicts many births within the tribe. A step further--

Omen stops. Stares at the next frozen vision. A bird's spread wings reveal a chance for freedom, offered to those with the strength to grasp it.

The future within the ice groans for release.

He raises his foot for another stomp. It will be a bitter swim to shore, but faster once he sheds the furs.
I love this piece as an example of what to aim for in your writing because it's so short, and yet it demonstrates so perfectly how to structure a story.

As I've mentioned before, stories are about change. They start when the protagonist's life is knocked out of balance and they end when that life is brought back into a new, different form of balance.

Also, every scene in a story should revolve around a turning point--a moment of irrevocable change, one where the characters involved cannot step back from or undo what has happened. In a flash fiction piece, you only have time for a single turning point. In fact, the turning point is the entirety of the story; everything else in the work is there to support the turning point.

The first sentence of Furs and Ice begins to establish the world that the protagonist, Omen, lives in; foretelling is a real profession, and the protagonist's father taught Omen to give himself over to his fate.

The second sentence immediately establishes a tension between this lesson and the protagonist's own beliefs. Omen trudges, which implies a lack of enthusiasm, and he thinks the furs he has to wear smell terrible. This is not a portrait of person who is happy to accept his fate.

The third sentence underscores the internal tension by fleshing out what Omen's father taught his son, while the next paragraph firmly establishes Omen's distaste for the role he is supposed to step into. The line "... [the stench] follows like Father's ghost, come to see the son's first foretelling" makes it clear Omen feels trapped by tradition and familial obligation.

In just a few sentences, the author has set up a strong and relatable tension between what Omen wants and what his father wanted for him. This tension whets our curiosity; Omen's life is out of balance, and we know something is going to break. We keep reading to find out what.

The next three paragraphs show Omen seemingly acquiescing to his fate; he does the job he's supposed to do. He reads the fortunes of the tribe, and although his internal situation is unstable, externally, he gives the impression of accepting the status quo.

But then, the foretelling shows Omen a way out, and he doesn't even hesitate. The story ends right at its lone turning point--Omen's moment of irrevocable change. He chooses to stomp on and break the ice, abandon his tribe and his fate, fling off the hated furs, and swim to a new life.

A story, to feel complete, needs to take an unbalanced situation and restore it to balance, but in such a way that the protagonist's final state is different than his initial state.

At the end of this story, Omen has restored his internal balance and is mentally in a new place. His external life is very much in chaos, but given the author highlighted the internal conflict, not any external ones, this feels like a satisfying resolution to the story.

Now let's look at the work in another way.

A story's turning points are often called reversals. The protagonist's life is either in a good or a bad state, and the turning point changes it to the opposite status.

Right before the final, largest reversal, it's common for the storyteller to try to make the audience think this is the protagonist's final state. It's often called the "black moment" because this is usually a state worthy of despair--one seemingly without hope.

And, usually, the hero makes one last, valiant effort immediately after the black moment and saves the day after all.

In Furs and Ice, when Omen is foretelling for his tribe, this is effectively his black moment. He has apparently chosen to accept his fate even though that fate makes him very unhappy. But then the reversal occurs: Omen makes one last, valiant effort and gets what he wants after all.

In Summary:

What works about this piece is that it is about change, as all stories must be. Omen wants a different life and finds a way to get it. Despite the story being very short, it nevertheless bases itself around a compelling and satisfying turning point in the protagonist's life.

The work also establishes tension, a promise that in this situation things must change, which is what keeps readers engaged in the story.

This piece has a satisfying ending because it gives the protagonist what he needed, albeit at a price. The author builds up tension, then releases it via a solution to the protagonist's problem, and this release is what creates a feeling of satisfaction in the reader.


Of Interest:

Josh is a newly-agented writer with a book out on submission to publishers--wish him luck! He also just launched a new blog called Write Strong, which features technical discussions on the subject of becoming a better writer. I encourage you all to check it out!


Author website: J. J. DeBenedictis

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Reading List - 2011

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Read in 2011

(Ratings out of 10 - consider 6 to be the minimum of what I expect a published book to be.)

The Feedstore Chronicles
by Travis Erwin
Finished book on: Dec 31, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5

The Cold Commands

by Richard Morgan
Finished book on: Dec 29, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5

The Neon Court

by Kate Griffin
Finished book on: Dec 26, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8

The Midnight Mayor

by Kate Griffin
Finished book on: Dec 22, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8

Unclean Spirits

by M. L. N. Hanover
Finished book on: Dec 5, 2011
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 6

Aloha From Hell

by Richard Kadrey
Finished book on: Nov 26, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8

Snuff

by Terry Pratchett
Finished book on: Nov 20, 2011
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 9.5
Enjoyability: 9.5
Comment: Love me some Pratchett! A great book as usual.

The Devil Wears Prada

by Lauren Weisberger
Finished book on: Oct 25, 2011
Quality of writing: 6.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5

The Fallen Blade

by Jon Courtney Grimwood
Finished book on: Oct 17, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 7.5

Broken Angel

by Sigmund Brouwer
Finished book on: Oct 10, 2011
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

Jasmyn

by Alex Bell
Finished book on: Oct 8, 2011
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5

The Smoke Thief

by Shana Abe
Finished book on: Oct 7, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

The Poisoned Crown

by Amanda Hemingway
Finished book on: Oct 4, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8

The Sword of Straw

by Amanda Hemingway
Finished book on: Oct 2, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5

The Screenwriter's Bible

by David Trottier
Finished book on: Sept 30, 2011
Quality of advice: 9

The Greenstone Grail

by Amanda Hemingway
Finished book on: Sept 28, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8

The Demon and the City

by Liz Williams
Finished book on: Sept 25, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 7.5

The Erthring Cycle

by Wayland Drew
Finished book on: Midnight between Sept 20 and 21, 2011
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 9

A Madness of Angels

by Kate Griffin
Finished book on: Sept 19, 2011
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 9

Myth Alliances

by Robert Lynn Asprin
Finished book on: Sept 8, 2011
Quality of writing: 6.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

The Heroes

by Joe Abercrombie
Finished book on: Aug 23, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

Kraken

by China Mieville
Finished book on: Aug 16, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 5.5
Enjoyability: 6.5

Ghost Story

by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Aug 6, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5

A Dance With Dragons
by George R. R. Martin
Finished book on: July ~15, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8

The Scar

by China Mieville
Finished book on: June 13, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8

The Ambassador's Mission

by Trudy Canavan
Finished book on: June 4, 2011
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 6

Wither
by Lauren DeStephano
Finished book on: May 15, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

Fury of the Phoenix

by Cindy Pon
Finished book on: May 6, 2011
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7

Market Forces

by Richard Morgan
Finished book on: May 3, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5

Altered Carbon

by Richard Morgan
Finished book on: Apr 28, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 7.5

Broken Angels

by Richard Morgan
Finished book on: Apr 12, 2011
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 9
Enjoyability: 9
Comment: I loooooooove this guy's stuff.

The Diamond Age: A Lady's Illustrated Primer

by Neal Stephenson
Finished book on: Apr 8, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8

Patient Zero
by Jonathan Maberry
Finished book on: Apr 2, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 9

Kill the Dead

by Richard Kadrey
Finished book on: Mar 25, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5

Sandman Slim
by Richard Kadrey
Finished book on: Mar 24, 2011
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 7.5

Sacrifice: Mortal Path, book 2
by Dakota Banks
Finished book on: Mar 20-ish, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 6.5

Pump Six and Other Stories

by Paolo Bagigalupi
Finished book on: Mar 6, 2011
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8

A Song for Arbonne

by Guy Gavriel Kay
Finished book on: Feb 15, 2011
Quality of writing: 9.5
Quality of story: 9
Enjoyability: 9.5
Comment: Goodness, that was an awesome book. Guy Gavriel Kay always delivers!

Plot and Structure

by James Scott Bell
Finished book on: Feb 7, 2011
Quality of advice: 7

How to Write a Damn Good Novel II
by James N. Frey
Finished book on: Jan 27, 2011
Quality of advice: 6.5

Elantris

by Brandon Sanderson
Finished book on: Jan 21, 2011
Quality of writing: 6.5
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 6

The Godfather
by Mario Puzo
Finished book on: Jan 18, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8

Mogworld
by Yahtzee (Ben) Croshaw
Finished book on: Jan 6, 2011
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Comments: Funny, very clever at the end, with a protagonist who's a charmingly sarcastic, contrary, irascible everyman zombie with a deathwish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Didn't Finish

Rogue Angel: The Dragon's Mark
by Alex Archer
Stopped Reading on Page: 29
Reason Why: Great prologue, but too much "telling" in the main story.

The Unincorporated Man

by Dani and Eytan Kollin
Stopped Reading on Page: 105
Reason Why: Fascinating idea but low tension and characterizations seemed unconvincing

How to Write a Damn Good Novel

by James N. Frey
Stopped Reading on Page: 54
Reason Why: Found advice simplistic

Pageloads since 01/01/2009: