I'm steaming my eyeballs tonight.
It's okay; they're still in my head. My eyes have felt very dry lately, even when they're not. Eyedrops don't help, but sticking a mug of hot water under my nose and blowing to force the steam into my peepers is quite soothing. The guys at work must think I have a bladder of titanium, given how much of today I spent looking like I was just in the middle of a sip.
Writing in the early morning is still proving to be an effective habit, although I'm a bit worried it's to blame for the sore eyeballs (Ah hah! You can be allergic to mornings!)
Hmm. I feel like splattering some personal stuff here tonight. I suspect that's why I sat down to blog.
This has been a bit of weird day, and not in a good way, and I'm going to use that to jump off on a weird tangent.
I gave a lab exam this morning, and one of my students came in and gave me...I'll just call it a thoroughly acceptable reason for not being able to write the test. I don't want to give out any of her details, but it involved two deaths in her family since I saw her last. The poor kid looked like she was hanging on by a thread. Then tonight, I found out about a death in my extended family, one that has some worrisome implications for other family members.
This morning I had a mild feeling of dread when I said goodbye to my husband. I'm a bit of an anxious person, so I didn't pay much attention to this, but here's where I veer off on my tangent.
My family's supposed to have a bit of the "sight", as in second sight, or psychic ability. I've always been of the opinion that I didn't get any of it.
Now, before I really get rolling here, let me back up one step. As mentioned, I tend to be anxious, and I have a frolicsome imagination also, so as a child, I was acutely terrified of the world. My brain was quite willing to picture ghouls and aliens and nuclear bombs coming to get me.
When I got older, I discovered the The Skeptical Enquirer, and it really was a liberating experience, because it gave the more rational parts of my brain ammunition to use against my imagination. Now I could now say, "Okay, that's bullshit" to a lot things I'd not been sure of before. It helped me feel a lot braver.
And for the most part, I still think the majority of evidence in favour of the paranormal is bullshit. Usually, these things are either self-delusion or con artistry. I do still count myself as a skeptic. If you tell me you believe in tarot cards or astrology, I will mock you.
So it's a bit odd--and possibly pathetic--that now I'm older still, and I've made a truce with the fact that, y'know, maybe I did get a bit of the family ability? I can rationalize that I'm really deluding myself, but if I listen to this inner detector that is too random to properly test, the statistics don't work out in favour of it being self-delusion.
El Husbando and I tend to not answer our phone during the day because it's usually a telemarketer. However, every now and then, I know it's someone we should talk to and I jump at the phone. I'm not always right, but I usually am. I have been the last four times.
When we were in London recently, my brother called to say his plane was delayed and he didn't know when he'd be joining us at the hotel. El Husbando and I settled down to watch some TV. A time later, I got the strong feeling that I should go down to the lobby and check for my brother. Rationally, I kept thinking, "No, there's no reason why he should be here yet, and even if he is, you'd probably miss him in the elevators." At the same time, I could picture myself finding him in the line-up for the check-in counter.
As I said, I've kind of made peace these hunches. I quietly slipped out and trotted downstairs. Waiting in the line-up for the check-in counter was exactly where I found him.
Walking to the room, my brother asked how I'd known he was in. Embarrassed, I shrugged and said the ol' family psychic ability had given me a tingle. He just nodded and said, "Yeah. I get those too."
My experiences are pretty mild stuff. Here's some of the freakier family stories:
- My dad once looked up from his reading and answered a question my mom hadn't asked yet.
- My grandfather once woke out of a sound sleep, then woke up my grandmother, and told her one of their neighbours had died. It turned out the fellow had, that night.
- That same grandmother dreamed of an almost-car-accident my mom had on the same night the almost-accident happened. The dream upset my grandmother enough she had to call my mom to make sure she was alright.
- My brother once fell asleep in an exam, and woke up when the bell rang. His test was complete. His teacher said he saw my brother put his head down for a minute, but then my brother sat up again and continued writing the exam. The questions my brother remembers answering, he got wrong. All the ones he answered while asleep, he got right.
Like I said, whatever I've got, it's comparatively pretty mild. I can't guide it (it didn't help me in Vegas last time I went), and it's not always correct. It's also often the sort of thing that could just be my subconscious picking up on subtle clues I didn't twig to.
Basically, it's just not very testable, which annoys the scientist in me, but it's bad science to dismiss something as imaginary just because you can't figure out a test for it. Of course, the real reason I'm accepting the hunches at face value these days is I feel like I'm cutting off something important inside me when I try to believe they're not real. Plus, there's little harm in this, because I don't even think about it until I get the "tingle". Hunches do not rule my life, and I do not walk in fear of the uncanny.
Now, how to sum up a post like that? I should have gotten this up in time for Hallowe'en! Goblin LOLs at herself.
Well...how about like this: When I signed on with my agent, she expected a quick sale, and I hoped for one too.
But I had a feeling the book wouldn't sell anytime soon.
Guess what? :-/
Pageloads since 01/01/2009:
12 comments:
But it will sell. I don't need a tingle to tell me that.
Intriguing family info. I suppose while my baseline reaction to lots of paranormal claims is cynicism and skepticism as well, there's that other half of me that is rather open to abilities and realms we don't understand yet. As much as we like to think we understand everything about the universe we live in, liking our nice mental boxes to keep ourselves feeling safe, the reality is we know very little. Science is shifting all the time, and there's a lot of weird stuff in there that tends to break the rules as fast as we try to set them up. I'm not ruling anything out.
Are you saying it has sold or that you were right?
Josh: That's the proper way to be a skeptic, too. Keep an open mind about that which hasn't been tested yet. We can assemble a convincing case for or against a specific claim, but if there isn't convincing evidence either way, then we shouldn't make a conclusion.
Travis: Unfortunately, I'm saying I was right. It hasn't sold yet.
I'm dying here....did your "mild feeling of dread" this morning pan out? Huh? Huh?
This sort of stuff is intriguing to me. I think there's hokey-paranormal, and I think there's the paranormal that is real and we just can't explain it. Yet.
I get hunches, too. Not as strong as your family's or yours, but enough that I tend to heed them if it doesn't require overt weirdness on my part!
I read tarot cards and like astrology... mock at will.
(Though I think both are more tools for introspection and self analysis than any sort of future telling - but I'm not a con artist, so perhaps I'm not playing with them properly)
I'm sorry you're having a rough time placing the manuscript, but it's not the writing, it's probably just the timing. Keep working on your current one, you'll get there - I have a feeling...
Oh, paranormal story...
When I was about five my mom was supposed to go to Michigan to visit her family (about four or five hours away). For no apparent reason, I threw a blazing fit and would not stop crying until she cancelled her trip. I remember it because my brothers were pissed off - our babysitter let us watch movies we weren't supposed to and we would have spent the weekend eating pizza and garbage.
There was a huge accident on the highway she would have been on at the same time she would have been there, it involved a truck, many vehicles and multiple deaths.
Maybe I was just a kid who didn't want her mom to go away for the weekend, but I'd never had a problem with it before or after that trip...
By the way, I think it's awesome that you won't discount it simply because you can't find a test. I like that in you - some scientists are so dead set against paranormal or spiritual things that they don't even look at them. What's the harm in looking with an open mind?
Tee hee, my last word verification was:
evoll
Mom in Scrubs: I attribute that sense of dread to finding out about the deaths later that day. Sorry; I obviously didn't write a very clear post this time!
I tend to heed them if it doesn't require overt weirdness on my part!
:-D That tends to be important to my hunch-obeying as well. I guess if the feeling was strong enough, I'd make an exception, but thankfully I've never had a premonition of anything really bad. (Fingers crossed, touch wood, and all those superstitions. :-) )
Merry: I think I snarked you once about astrology, so you get a free pass this time! :-D
[S]ome scientists are so dead set against paranormal or spiritual things that they don't even look at them.
And that's actually a very unscientific mindset. Experimental science in particular relies on objectivity; you don't make a judgment until you look at the data, and you don't base your judgment on anything but the data. All scientists have to take care to leave their biases at the door, and deciding that the paranormal is bunkum in every case does not do that.
The best scientists I've met have very flexible and open minds. They use their imaginations as much as an artist does, and they're always trying to think of a new angle, a new paradigm. That said, they're also incredibly hard to convince of anything; their standards are quite high when it comes to evidence.
Tee hee, my last word verification was:
evoll
Hee! Merry, the evoll commenter, strikes again!
Really sis what do you expect, a sales person/ agent is always going to tell you the best outcome. It is in there best interest. If you ever find a agent that puts there client ahead of there own interest hold on to them.
I had the same problem with the head hunter when I was looking for a job. He would send my resume to all the places that would be easy to get hired at, not necessarily the type of company I would want to work for.
rant off.
The precognition still works for me, it usually comes as a thought or pondering about something. For instance I was wondering when a presentation I have to give was again. Bing there goes my email and it was a message from the lady that is setting them up reminding everyone that it is next week.
Another one that happens often enough to make me wonder is that i will be wondering when a support group will reply to me email and the email will Bing. I seem to have transferred the physic call display to email :)
This is very interesting. I try to be skeptical, but these stories honestly pull me in. I've had a few experiences that I remember. The most, I don't know what adjective to insert, maybe I shouldn't... My sister was dying of skin cancer, and I fell asleep with the question 'How much time she has left?' and my dead grandmother came to me in a dream with the (turned out to be correct) answer.
Good science, to me, has to be open for exploring the unknown, in all areas.
I've had some twinges. From the day I met my husband, I've known when he was calling me--sometimes before the phone rang. In my sorority, we had a buzzing system to notify who had a phone call. You learn to ignore the buzzes pretty quickly. Then I'd find myself perking up right before my buzz.
I once telepathed with an old bf, too. THAT was freaky.
I don't ever doubt my inner 'gut-feeling', twinge, or inner voice. They are always right and I have always regretted the times I did ignore them.
I had an experience many years ago with my then boyfriend, now husband, we were just dating, not committed to one another (my preference) and one evening something was telling me was with another woman, and he was having sex. I didn't sleep at all. The next day I spoke with him and an old girlfriend had come into town and yes they did it. I told him I had known what was happening miles away. We never dated anyone else after that. We've been together 24 years.
Listen to those twinges. You never know how important they can be.
Oops, getting back to replies rather late, as usual...
Sarf: Well, I think you're giving my agent a bad rap! She works on pure commission, so she doesn't make any money until I do. In fact, right now she's at a loss because her agency is footing the photocopying bill for all my submissions, not to mention all the work hours she has put in.
Hee! I get the email "tingle" also. I often know that I've got something waiting, although I don't usually know where it's from.
Chris: I agree; these kind of stories are so intriguing. Your dream sounds pretty amazing. That's the sort of thing that convinces me. A "psychic" making a hundred predictions and getting one of them kinda-sorta right doesn't.
Betsy: *nods* It seems to be things like phone calls, doorbell rings, and emails are things where more people report knowing in advance when there's something waiting for them. Oh, and knowing what song is coming on the radio next. :-D
Isn't it interesting how it's person-to-person communications that we seem most sensitive to?
Virginia: Oh, that reminds me of a story my mom told about a friend of hers! This friend had a straying husband, but she always knew when he was cheating. Furthermore, she could go out, drive around, and locate his car by instinct--no matter where in town he was--and then just sit and wait for him to come out of the house/hotel.
In the end, they split, but she did eventually train him not to bother going home with other women, because he got busted every. Single. Time.
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