Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Demon-Squirrel is Back

Last night, I come home, take a gander out our balcony window, and notice two mouse-traps on our deck.

Mouse-traps baited with paper towel.

Apparently the Demon Squirrel of Seville came back. Hence the mouse-traps.

She didn't chew up our plants this time, but she did rip the paper towels off the makeshift solarium El Husbando built around his hibernating Venus Flytrap (it's a long story.) Hence, mouse-traps baited with paper towels.

Have I mentioned El Husbando can be pretty obsessive about his plants? I mean, he's no match for me when it comes to weirdness, but still. Paper towels. As bait. For a squirrel.

What brought on this malevolence, you ask? What caused my mild-mannered, vegetarian husband to break out the weapons of mass destruction? Well, the perceived threat to his Venus Flytrap was certainly part of it, but the real military provocation came in the form of bioterrorism: he discovered not one, not two, but three (relatively) large piles of squirrel poo on our balcony. I admit, that's a fairly high poo-to-balcony ratio.

Groovin' peace-nik that I am, I squawked as soon as I saw the traps. El Husbando is of the opinion the mouse-traps would only scare the squirrel, not hurt it, while I think they could break her paw or wind up permanently attached to her tail, hampering the animal for life. So I poked his traps and promised to find a more humane way to drive off Our Furry Nemesis.

Having given the great god Google its favourite sacrifice (my free time), I am now equipped with my own weapon of mass destruction:

A spritzer bottle full of extra-spicy hot sauce. Apparently, demon squirrels don't like their nesting materials Cajun style.


Heather said...

Hehe, good to know. Guess they must be Scottish Squirrels.. liking their food bland :)

Sarf's Travels. said...


Lynnette Labelle said...

Why paper towels? Wouldn't nuts work better?

Lynnette Labelle

Josh said...

I'll be looking forward to a character known as the demon squirrel in one of your upcoming stories.

Stephe said...

ROFL at the extra spicy hot sauce. How inventive! I would much rather have a jacked-up tongue than a broken tail anyday. No joke.

I'm still kinda... looking sideways at the... paper towels to lure squirrels theory. Hm. Dude? :)

jjdebenedictis said...

Heather: Thank goodness they didn't try the paper towels; the McSquirrrrrels might have mistaken them for oat-cakes!

Sarf: *Scream!*

Lynnette: The nuts might be in my husband's head. :-)

Josh: Hmm... It would talk, eat entire trees in one bite, and set mouse traps in people's beds. And it could only be repelled by hot sauce.

Stephe: Yeah, why would the squirrel mess with those little bitty clumps of paper when there's still, OMG! The whole other half of the tree to shred?!

Pageloads since 01/01/2009: