My good friend, Sepiru Chris, often found in his charming internet abode, e-Cuneiform Scratchings, has nominated me for an award!
I have an unconventional way to thank him, however, and I was hoping some of you could help me with it.
Might I encourage those of you who are willing to please pop by Chris' blog and tell him ONE WEIRD AND INTERESTING THING.
About anything! The science of heroin addiction, the emotional cost of pro wrestling, how best to cook testicles--anything at all. Chris is an exuberant person who loves life and the whole world, but he seems to love learning more than anything, so please go tell him something he doesn't know, and he'll probably be thrilled to hear about it!
Thank you so much to all of you who are kind enough to do this; hit the link below to head over there, and feel free to say I sent you.
"BAMF! on over to Chris' place"
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
PHC Meta-Update | Agents, Allergies, and the Awesomeness of Experts
Thanks to McKoala's cleverness, the Public Humiliation Challenge updates are now sequestered to the sidebar. Huzzah! Your Google Reader shall be spammed no more! Of course, the B. S. Haiku will also be rarer. Yes, I'm sure you're all crushed.
I have also included links to the PHC badges, since I made them and am geekily proud of them. Feel free to snarfle these if you wish to join the challenge. (And come on; lookit dat oochy-coochy koala--don't you want to join just to have her on your sidebar?)
~~~~~~~
I had my first drink in fifteen years on Wednesday. That makes it sound like I'm an alcoholic who has just fallen off the wagon, but the truth is a margin weirder and not at all alarming. I stopped drinking alcohol because it made me feel sick--but a lot of things were making me sick at the time.
In my mid-twenties, I started having health issues with my gut (the less said, the better), and a series of invasive and uncomfortable medical tests left me,
1) still not knowing what was wrong, and
2) disinclined to go see any more doctors.
About ten years later, it was getting to the point I didn't see how I could continue living normally, i.e. hold down a job, etc., if I didn't get this sorted out. I wasn't in good shape.
A gentle and understanding GP sent me to a very smart GE specialist, who didn't put me through the painful tests again, but instead examined all the evidence and then gave me the most helpful "I can't help you" statement I've ever heard. He said, "I don't know what this is. Try an allergist."
Even now, I'm shocked at how quickly my years-long trouble wrapped itself up. The allergist listened to my woes, prescribed a medication and--with a few caveats--I've been fine ever since. I am so damned grateful for this.
Now to swing it all around to writing: When Nathan Bransford was on the Book Roast this past week, it gave me another opportunity to think kind thoughts at the man. As you might know, if Nathan rejects your query, you can email him and give him permission to critique it on his blog, and he might decide to do so.
He did this for me, and that experience had a lot in common with, "I don't know what this is. Try an allergist." At the time, hearing what Nathan had to say made me pretty unhappy, but it also sorted out my problems fast. I rewrote the opening scene of my novel and had an offer from my agent, Eleanor Wood of Spectrum Literary Agency, as soon as she finished reading the full. I had racked up about 25 rejections, with only one request for a partial, prior to that. Nathan? I am so damned grateful for that critique.
Publishing can move pretty slowly. It's been almost a year since I signed on with my agent, so although I don't believe in posting details unless there's real news, I thought I'd give you an update on the book. Last I heard, there are two editors interested, but they both have to get an okay from higher up in the company before they can make an offer. Given the state of the publishing industry in today's economy, nothing is certain, but keep your fingers crossed for me!
Having my first belt of rum in fifteen years was not, in fact, correlated with the above; I just wanted to see if I could do it. It's taken me a while to get braver about trying things I know used to cause me pain, but I am getting there.
Hard liquor still tastes really bad, however. Pity I'm still allergic to wine and beer. If and when my book sells, I shall toast that fact with chocolate!
I have also included links to the PHC badges, since I made them and am geekily proud of them. Feel free to snarfle these if you wish to join the challenge. (And come on; lookit dat oochy-coochy koala--don't you want to join just to have her on your sidebar?)
~~~~~~~
I had my first drink in fifteen years on Wednesday. That makes it sound like I'm an alcoholic who has just fallen off the wagon, but the truth is a margin weirder and not at all alarming. I stopped drinking alcohol because it made me feel sick--but a lot of things were making me sick at the time.
In my mid-twenties, I started having health issues with my gut (the less said, the better), and a series of invasive and uncomfortable medical tests left me,
1) still not knowing what was wrong, and
2) disinclined to go see any more doctors.
About ten years later, it was getting to the point I didn't see how I could continue living normally, i.e. hold down a job, etc., if I didn't get this sorted out. I wasn't in good shape.
A gentle and understanding GP sent me to a very smart GE specialist, who didn't put me through the painful tests again, but instead examined all the evidence and then gave me the most helpful "I can't help you" statement I've ever heard. He said, "I don't know what this is. Try an allergist."
Even now, I'm shocked at how quickly my years-long trouble wrapped itself up. The allergist listened to my woes, prescribed a medication and--with a few caveats--I've been fine ever since. I am so damned grateful for this.
Now to swing it all around to writing: When Nathan Bransford was on the Book Roast this past week, it gave me another opportunity to think kind thoughts at the man. As you might know, if Nathan rejects your query, you can email him and give him permission to critique it on his blog, and he might decide to do so.
He did this for me, and that experience had a lot in common with, "I don't know what this is. Try an allergist." At the time, hearing what Nathan had to say made me pretty unhappy, but it also sorted out my problems fast. I rewrote the opening scene of my novel and had an offer from my agent, Eleanor Wood of Spectrum Literary Agency, as soon as she finished reading the full. I had racked up about 25 rejections, with only one request for a partial, prior to that. Nathan? I am so damned grateful for that critique.
Publishing can move pretty slowly. It's been almost a year since I signed on with my agent, so although I don't believe in posting details unless there's real news, I thought I'd give you an update on the book. Last I heard, there are two editors interested, but they both have to get an okay from higher up in the company before they can make an offer. Given the state of the publishing industry in today's economy, nothing is certain, but keep your fingers crossed for me!
Having my first belt of rum in fifteen years was not, in fact, correlated with the above; I just wanted to see if I could do it. It's taken me a while to get braver about trying things I know used to cause me pain, but I am getting there.
Hard liquor still tastes really bad, however. Pity I'm still allergic to wine and beer. If and when my book sells, I shall toast that fact with chocolate!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Three Word Wednesday
PJD has challenged me to another haiku-off!
Hmm...intimidating, given his recent (Jan 20) win in the Clarity of Night contest...
(But congratulations again, PJD!)
Edit: Consider these two stanzas to be one poem.
Humble scientist
Struggle to hear the cadence
Of reality
Worship the beauty
In your oddball, nebbish way
Resolve this fine view
Hmm...intimidating, given his recent (Jan 20) win in the Clarity of Night contest...
(But congratulations again, PJD!)
Edit: Consider these two stanzas to be one poem.
Humble scientist
Struggle to hear the cadence
Of reality
Worship the beauty
In your oddball, nebbish way
Resolve this fine view
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Save It For Your Interviews
A fast way to get ridiculed in an art class is to complain that your grade should be adjusted upward because you worked really hard on whatever project earned you that grade. The reason why is, when it comes to art, the final product is all that matters. No one cares whether you worked for years on a piece, or slapped it out in thirty seconds; if it's great art, then it's great art. Sweat-of-the-brow counts for nothing.
This holds true for most arts, which is probably why the arts have a reputation for harbouring divas, flakes, nutbars, and addicts. As long as a person produces good art, the customer is happy and that forgives a lot.
In contrast, many companies are introducing "No Assholes Allowed" policies because they've realized no matter how talented an individual is, if they're demoralizing others and poisoning the work environment to the point that qualified employees quit, then that person financially harms the company more than they help it.
Of course, a company relies on many people working together to produce a final result. In contrast, when the financial life of a project depends on a single star who is an irreplaceable juggernaut of talent, then everyone else just has to suck it up if that star also happens to an asshole.
That's not to say there isn't a recoil that affects the asshole and his/her career, mind you.
A lot of the companies that have instituted "No Assholes Allowed" policies also refuse to work with clients who are assholes. This is pretty striking behaviour for a money-making venture: they turn down business from people who harass or abuse their employees.
The reason why is the company is more productive, and thus more profitable, when their employees are happy. Morale is that important.
This is interesting because it applies to artists--such as writers--who need to work with others in order to sell their work. If you're a published writer, and also a Harridan Whom All Loathe, then the publishing house functions less effectively when its people have to deal with you. What if your jerkishness translates into less feedback from your editor? Less enthusiasm from the marketing and publicity departments?
And what if, when the house is looking to cut a few authors (which they might be inclined to, in these economic times), no one is willing to champion your work in-house?
Any of us can be writers; all that's required is that we write. To be published, however, means you turn writing into a profession, and that implies you should be professional. Being talented is not correlated with being an asshole--you can be one and not the other--but more importantly, being an asshole never helps your career. Never.
So choose to be professional. You're free to be a gloriously flakey or curmudgeonly writer; just do it on your own time.
Or when you get interviewed. Hey; everyone loves a character.
This holds true for most arts, which is probably why the arts have a reputation for harbouring divas, flakes, nutbars, and addicts. As long as a person produces good art, the customer is happy and that forgives a lot.
In contrast, many companies are introducing "No Assholes Allowed" policies because they've realized no matter how talented an individual is, if they're demoralizing others and poisoning the work environment to the point that qualified employees quit, then that person financially harms the company more than they help it.
Of course, a company relies on many people working together to produce a final result. In contrast, when the financial life of a project depends on a single star who is an irreplaceable juggernaut of talent, then everyone else just has to suck it up if that star also happens to an asshole.
That's not to say there isn't a recoil that affects the asshole and his/her career, mind you.
A lot of the companies that have instituted "No Assholes Allowed" policies also refuse to work with clients who are assholes. This is pretty striking behaviour for a money-making venture: they turn down business from people who harass or abuse their employees.
The reason why is the company is more productive, and thus more profitable, when their employees are happy. Morale is that important.
This is interesting because it applies to artists--such as writers--who need to work with others in order to sell their work. If you're a published writer, and also a Harridan Whom All Loathe, then the publishing house functions less effectively when its people have to deal with you. What if your jerkishness translates into less feedback from your editor? Less enthusiasm from the marketing and publicity departments?
And what if, when the house is looking to cut a few authors (which they might be inclined to, in these economic times), no one is willing to champion your work in-house?
Any of us can be writers; all that's required is that we write. To be published, however, means you turn writing into a profession, and that implies you should be professional. Being talented is not correlated with being an asshole--you can be one and not the other--but more importantly, being an asshole never helps your career. Never.
So choose to be professional. You're free to be a gloriously flakey or curmudgeonly writer; just do it on your own time.
Or when you get interviewed. Hey; everyone loves a character.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
McKoala's Public Humiliation Challenge
Help! Help! A Koala is kicking my butt!
First PJD throws down the gauntlet, and now McKoala.
The Tartan Eucalyptus-Eater is sponsoring the all-new, all-awesome Public Humiliation Challenge for writers!
No prizes; just pain. Put your daily word count at the top of your blog post, and the Koalanatrix expects you to crack 100 words, six days a week, or else!
*looks at clock* Um. Be right back.
Pre-Midnight Edit: 180 words. Phew; no marsupial-claw nightmares tonight!
First PJD throws down the gauntlet, and now McKoala.
The Tartan Eucalyptus-Eater is sponsoring the all-new, all-awesome Public Humiliation Challenge for writers!
No prizes; just pain. Put your daily word count at the top of your blog post, and the Koalanatrix expects you to crack 100 words, six days a week, or else!
*looks at clock* Um. Be right back.
Pre-Midnight Edit: 180 words. Phew; no marsupial-claw nightmares tonight!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
He-Who-Shan't-Be-Named Isn't Crazy (Me, On the Other Hand...)
So how do I look? Yeah, I know my makeup's a bit heavy. This guy, Vermeer, did it for me (and loaned me the earrings.) Specifically, what do you think of my hair? Does it look okay?
(Link to the big version)
Because I haven't shampooed it since Nov. 30th, 2008.
WAIT! That's not to say I don't wash my hair--I DO. Every second day, in fact. I just haven't been using shampoo.
Yes, curiosity (maybe) killed Shroedinger's cat. I was so startled by the idea of "self-washing hair" that I decided to try it as an experiment.
Recap: "Self-washing" hair is what you're supposed to get if you wash your hair in water only, i.e. no shampoo. After an approximately-six-week transition period, your hair stops looking disgusting and starts looking clean and fluffy again--with the added bonus that it's supposed to be much healthier too.
Now, I don't know if I got to the "self-washing" stage, for reasons I'll explain below, but I did discover you can get your hair completely clean without using shampoo.
Confession time: I tried to do this the correct way, but alas. I am weak. Washing my hair in only water left it looking much better than I would have predicted, but it didn't look good. Although that is expected--that's the transition state--I just couldn't stand the way my hair looked.
So I started washing it in conditioner. Specifically, I would give my hair a good scrub with water only, then repeat that using conditioner, and then I would rinse.
And holy Hans Fassbinder, that worked incredibly well. My hair was literally squeaky-clean afterward, with no shampoo involved, and it was much shinier and more manageable than I'm used to.
If you think about it, the water washes out everything that's water-based, like sweat and dirt, and the conditioner washes out everything that's oil-based, like your hair's natural oils. There shouldn't be anything else. (Although I can't vouch for how well this cleans off hair product, since I don't use any.)
The photo above (minus the paint and pearls) was taken about twenty-four hours after my last shower, and as you can see, my hair still looks clean andfrizzy fluffy.
I'm at the six-week point. I don't know if I've got "self-washing" hair, because I haven't been doing this correctly. You're supposed to only use water on your hair and brush it often to distribute your natural oils. I said "To hell with natural oils" and used conditioner to take them all off.
However, I've noticed a change lately. Washing in conditioner did clean my hair really well, but for most of the past six weeks, the effect didn't last as long as I wanted. My hair would look good the first day after I showered, but on the second day, it began to look lank and stringy.
Just this past week, however, that oily-second-day has gone away. Now my hair looks great both days and could even go a third. Do I have "self-washing" hair? I don't know, but I like what I'm seeing enough to keep doing this. It's cheaper, better for the environment, yadda, yadda, yadda.
My hair is shinier, so I assume it's healthier--but I know my scalp is healthier. I used to always use Head and Shoulders™, because if I switched to another shampoo, I would get dandruff within a week.
Hey-ho, it's been six weeks and I don't have any dandruff yet. That implies it was the shampoo causing the dandruff in the first place, and my scalp is perfectly healthy if I just don't put detergents on it.
Yup, I'm nuts. The scientist in me was intrigued by this idea, so I ran the experiment, and now the ditzy airhead in me is delighted: I'm liking my hair, I'm feeling all smug and superior about just what a clever ditz I am, and best of all--El Husbando never even suspected.
Muhahaha!
(Link to the big version)
Because I haven't shampooed it since Nov. 30th, 2008.
WAIT! That's not to say I don't wash my hair--I DO. Every second day, in fact. I just haven't been using shampoo.
Yes, curiosity (maybe) killed Shroedinger's cat. I was so startled by the idea of "self-washing hair" that I decided to try it as an experiment.
Recap: "Self-washing" hair is what you're supposed to get if you wash your hair in water only, i.e. no shampoo. After an approximately-six-week transition period, your hair stops looking disgusting and starts looking clean and fluffy again--with the added bonus that it's supposed to be much healthier too.
Now, I don't know if I got to the "self-washing" stage, for reasons I'll explain below, but I did discover you can get your hair completely clean without using shampoo.
Confession time: I tried to do this the correct way, but alas. I am weak. Washing my hair in only water left it looking much better than I would have predicted, but it didn't look good. Although that is expected--that's the transition state--I just couldn't stand the way my hair looked.
So I started washing it in conditioner. Specifically, I would give my hair a good scrub with water only, then repeat that using conditioner, and then I would rinse.
And holy Hans Fassbinder, that worked incredibly well. My hair was literally squeaky-clean afterward, with no shampoo involved, and it was much shinier and more manageable than I'm used to.
If you think about it, the water washes out everything that's water-based, like sweat and dirt, and the conditioner washes out everything that's oil-based, like your hair's natural oils. There shouldn't be anything else. (Although I can't vouch for how well this cleans off hair product, since I don't use any.)
The photo above (minus the paint and pearls) was taken about twenty-four hours after my last shower, and as you can see, my hair still looks clean and
I'm at the six-week point. I don't know if I've got "self-washing" hair, because I haven't been doing this correctly. You're supposed to only use water on your hair and brush it often to distribute your natural oils. I said "To hell with natural oils" and used conditioner to take them all off.
However, I've noticed a change lately. Washing in conditioner did clean my hair really well, but for most of the past six weeks, the effect didn't last as long as I wanted. My hair would look good the first day after I showered, but on the second day, it began to look lank and stringy.
Just this past week, however, that oily-second-day has gone away. Now my hair looks great both days and could even go a third. Do I have "self-washing" hair? I don't know, but I like what I'm seeing enough to keep doing this. It's cheaper, better for the environment, yadda, yadda, yadda.
My hair is shinier, so I assume it's healthier--but I know my scalp is healthier. I used to always use Head and Shoulders™, because if I switched to another shampoo, I would get dandruff within a week.
Hey-ho, it's been six weeks and I don't have any dandruff yet. That implies it was the shampoo causing the dandruff in the first place, and my scalp is perfectly healthy if I just don't put detergents on it.
Yup, I'm nuts. The scientist in me was intrigued by this idea, so I ran the experiment, and now the ditzy airhead in me is delighted: I'm liking my hair, I'm feeling all smug and superior about just what a clever ditz I am, and best of all--El Husbando never even suspected.
Muhahaha!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Gallery of B. S. Haiku
(Ahem; that stands for Blank Space Haiku, of course.)
Oxyjen, Feb. 22, 2009
Ode to an Oversized WIP:
Corpulent beastie
I fear your creeping bloat-ass
Stop stuffing your face
Dead Dishwasher
If we bought Maytag
instead of mayfly, we'd have
time to know you well
Farewell, dishwasher
May you reincarnate as
a Hummer next time
Buying a Condo in Springtime
Feed upon the flesh
of subprime mortgage corpses
We're proud to be ghouls
~~~~~~~
PJD's latest challenge:
Form a haiku with the words "Try an allergist" 26/01/2009
"try an allergist"
it's become my new motto
new mottos... how bourgeois
~~~~~~~
Sepiru Chris's response:
Try an allergist...
They clean the hard to reach teeth.
The Crocodile smirks.
~~~~~~~
OxyJen's response:
"Try an allergist"
Is a really tricky prompt
You're a crafty one
Will this undo me?
Will PJD laugh at me?
No--I must prevail
*deep breath*
Surgeons are stringy
For a tender cut of meat
Try an allergist
From OxyJen, 23/01/2009
The good-deed Goblin
Pleased mighty McKoala
And earned a gold star
From OxyJen, 22/01/2009
Yeah, once more, Asshole.
Pull that fire alarm for the
laughs. We just love it.
From Sepiru Chris, 21/01/2009
Explanation for delayed responses:
My prolixity
slowed creativity; my
brain froze shut in fear.
~~~~~~~
Usefulness of big words (in two parts):
(Part 1)
Floccinaucini-
hilipilification
so big it just fit.
(Part 2)
Don't estimate as
worthless. Utility is
always in our mind.
~~~~~~~
Rules for making Haiku:
1: Five syllables.
2: Write seven more for fun.
3. Repeat 1. Done.
From PJD, 21/01/2009
(Response to OxyJen's poem from 20/01/2009)
those poor engineers
they're easily terrified
by girls and sunlight
From OxyJen, 21/01/2009
Humble scientist
Struggle to hear the cadence
Of reality
Worship the beauty
In your oddball, nebbish way
Resolve this fine view
From OxyJen, 20/01/2009
I spent this morning
Terrifying engineers.
They're cute when they're small
From PJD, 19/01/2009
pistols at sunrise
are for cowardly sissies
haiku duels take guts
~~~~~~~~
OxyJen's response:
But I'm such a yutz!
You people are, like, artistes.
Still. You're on, buddy.
From OxyJen, 19/01/2009
Marsupial claws
Tip-tap outside my thin door
I sweat as I type
The claws are silent
But the silence is pregnant
Hear it listening
From OxyJen, 18/01/2009
All socked in, fog-bound
No chores, no demands, grey day
Good time to sleep in
~~~~~~~
The pearl of the sky
Turns blue after three days' fog
The city lights up
From OxyJen, 16/01/2009
Beer-y fragrance wafts
Smell that tang of thriving life?
Please take out the trash
From PJD, 07/01/2009
it's three word wednesday
pit your haiku against mine
do you have the guts?
OxyJen's response to the above challenge:
You don't want to see
my guts stand and deliver.
Not a pretty sight.
From Virginia Lady, 07/01/2009
I don't do Haiku
But you can certainly write
Good B S Haiku
From Ello, 06/01/2009
I have no
Good haiku for you
Only bad
hee hee
From OxyJen, 04/01/2009
It's snowing again
Are you certain I can't whine?
My toes are chilly
Seriously, did
we forget to pay a bill?
More snow. Lots of it
It's like someone took
Frosty's name in vain, and now
his mom is pissed off
Oxyjen, Feb. 22, 2009
Ode to an Oversized WIP:
Corpulent beastie
I fear your creeping bloat-ass
Stop stuffing your face
Dead Dishwasher
If we bought Maytag
instead of mayfly, we'd have
time to know you well
Farewell, dishwasher
May you reincarnate as
a Hummer next time
Buying a Condo in Springtime
Feed upon the flesh
of subprime mortgage corpses
We're proud to be ghouls
~~~~~~~
PJD's latest challenge:
Form a haiku with the words "Try an allergist" 26/01/2009
"try an allergist"
it's become my new motto
new mottos... how bourgeois
~~~~~~~
Sepiru Chris's response:
Try an allergist...
They clean the hard to reach teeth.
The Crocodile smirks.
~~~~~~~
OxyJen's response:
"Try an allergist"
Is a really tricky prompt
You're a crafty one
Will this undo me?
Will PJD laugh at me?
No--I must prevail
*deep breath*
Surgeons are stringy
For a tender cut of meat
Try an allergist
From OxyJen, 23/01/2009
The good-deed Goblin
Pleased mighty McKoala
And earned a gold star
From OxyJen, 22/01/2009
Yeah, once more, Asshole.
Pull that fire alarm for the
laughs. We just love it.
From Sepiru Chris, 21/01/2009
Explanation for delayed responses:
My prolixity
slowed creativity; my
brain froze shut in fear.
~~~~~~~
Usefulness of big words (in two parts):
(Part 1)
Floccinaucini-
hilipilification
so big it just fit.
(Part 2)
Don't estimate as
worthless. Utility is
always in our mind.
~~~~~~~
Rules for making Haiku:
1: Five syllables.
2: Write seven more for fun.
3. Repeat 1. Done.
From PJD, 21/01/2009
(Response to OxyJen's poem from 20/01/2009)
those poor engineers
they're easily terrified
by girls and sunlight
From OxyJen, 21/01/2009
Humble scientist
Struggle to hear the cadence
Of reality
Worship the beauty
In your oddball, nebbish way
Resolve this fine view
From OxyJen, 20/01/2009
I spent this morning
Terrifying engineers.
They're cute when they're small
From PJD, 19/01/2009
pistols at sunrise
are for cowardly sissies
haiku duels take guts
~~~~~~~~
OxyJen's response:
But I'm such a yutz!
You people are, like, artistes.
Still. You're on, buddy.
From OxyJen, 19/01/2009
Marsupial claws
Tip-tap outside my thin door
I sweat as I type
The claws are silent
But the silence is pregnant
Hear it listening
From OxyJen, 18/01/2009
All socked in, fog-bound
No chores, no demands, grey day
Good time to sleep in
~~~~~~~
The pearl of the sky
Turns blue after three days' fog
The city lights up
From OxyJen, 16/01/2009
Beer-y fragrance wafts
Smell that tang of thriving life?
Please take out the trash
From PJD, 07/01/2009
it's three word wednesday
pit your haiku against mine
do you have the guts?
OxyJen's response to the above challenge:
You don't want to see
my guts stand and deliver.
Not a pretty sight.
From Virginia Lady, 07/01/2009
I don't do Haiku
But you can certainly write
Good B S Haiku
From Ello, 06/01/2009
I have no
Good haiku for you
Only bad
hee hee
From OxyJen, 04/01/2009
It's snowing again
Are you certain I can't whine?
My toes are chilly
Seriously, did
we forget to pay a bill?
More snow. Lots of it
It's like someone took
Frosty's name in vain, and now
his mom is pissed off
*puffs up feathers and tries to look tough*
PJD has thrown down the poetry gauntlet and challenged me to pit my Three Word Wednesday haiku against his.
Naturally, he's going to completely kick my ass.
Prompt words: Panic, Deception, Scheme
Resulting Travesty of the Noble Art of Poetry:
Without deception,
He fell into a panic
The scheme had no savour
Naturally, he's going to completely kick my ass.
Prompt words: Panic, Deception, Scheme
Resulting Travesty of the Noble Art of Poetry:
Without deception,
He fell into a panic
The scheme had no savour
Sunday, January 04, 2009
The B. S. Haiku
New Year's Resolution 0001: Blog regularly, i.e. once a week, probably on Sunday evenings.
...
Yeah, so I always have trouble coming up with proper blog fodder. Either I have a mind-bolt that demands at least three thousand words to explain, or I can't think of a freakin' thing.
Which is how it works with writing novels also, except the word count is much higher.
So I've come up with my own demented way of attacking the dread' blank page: I write haiku--usually featuring rather rude expressions of frustration and self-mockery.
The point is to get my fingers (and imagination) moving, in hope they will keep moving. After all, a haiku is easily erased, and lo! No more scary blank page to wibble in terror before. Muhahaha! More power to the keyboard-poker.
Which is all a long-winded way of warning you that if I stick to my resolution, you're probably going to see Blank Space Haiku on a regular basis.
It's snowing again
Are you certain I can't whine?
My toes are chilly
Erm. And not that I expect anyone to actually play along with something this silly, but if you ever do find yourself writing a B. S. Haiku? Please pop it into a comment anywhere on the blog, and I'll add it to a separate post that not only glorifies your stunning contribution to the high art of B. S. Haiku, but which also links back to you.
Seriously, did
we forget to pay a bill?
More snow. Lots of it
It's like someone took
Frosty's name in vain, and now
his mom is pissed off
...
Yeah, so I always have trouble coming up with proper blog fodder. Either I have a mind-bolt that demands at least three thousand words to explain, or I can't think of a freakin' thing.
Which is how it works with writing novels also, except the word count is much higher.
So I've come up with my own demented way of attacking the dread' blank page: I write haiku--usually featuring rather rude expressions of frustration and self-mockery.
The point is to get my fingers (and imagination) moving, in hope they will keep moving. After all, a haiku is easily erased, and lo! No more scary blank page to wibble in terror before. Muhahaha! More power to the keyboard-poker.
Which is all a long-winded way of warning you that if I stick to my resolution, you're probably going to see Blank Space Haiku on a regular basis.
It's snowing again
Are you certain I can't whine?
My toes are chilly
Erm. And not that I expect anyone to actually play along with something this silly, but if you ever do find yourself writing a B. S. Haiku? Please pop it into a comment anywhere on the blog, and I'll add it to a separate post that not only glorifies your stunning contribution to the high art of B. S. Haiku, but which also links back to you.
Seriously, did
we forget to pay a bill?
More snow. Lots of it
It's like someone took
Frosty's name in vain, and now
his mom is pissed off
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year!
For New Year's Day:
May your hangover be small, and your eyes un-crusty. May the party-wreckage of your living room be manageable, and may all your guests be safe and sober at home now (rather than asleep in your bathtub.)
For the month:
May your waistline hastily recede back to the size of your pants. May the chocolate-induced acne fade before you have to go back to work. May you feel all the hopefulness of approaching spring.
For the year:
May you have a safe and prosperous 2009, full of joy, good health, and great heaping whack-loads of pure fun. May you reach all your goals (writing and otherwise), and may your challenges only be exciting and invigorating ones!
Have a very happy 2009, everyone!
May your hangover be small, and your eyes un-crusty. May the party-wreckage of your living room be manageable, and may all your guests be safe and sober at home now (rather than asleep in your bathtub.)
For the month:
May your waistline hastily recede back to the size of your pants. May the chocolate-induced acne fade before you have to go back to work. May you feel all the hopefulness of approaching spring.
For the year:
May you have a safe and prosperous 2009, full of joy, good health, and great heaping whack-loads of pure fun. May you reach all your goals (writing and otherwise), and may your challenges only be exciting and invigorating ones!
Have a very happy 2009, everyone!
Reading List - 2009
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Read in 2009
(Ratings out of 10 - consider 6 to be the minimum of what I expect a published book to be.)
Child of Fire
by Harry Connolly
Finished book on: Nov 29, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 9
Enjoyability: 8.5
Ha'penny
by Jo Walton
Finished book on: Nov 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 6
The Eternal Prison
by Jeff Somers
Finished book on: Nov 14, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Unseen Academicals
by Terry Pratchett
Finished book on: Nov 11, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
The Blind Assassin
by Margaret Atwood
Finished book on: Nov 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8
Elfland
by Freda Warrington
Finished book on: Oct 30-ish, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Shadow Magic
by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett
Finished book on: Oct 10, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
The Drowning City
by Amanda Downum
Finished book on: Oct 6, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Eifelheim
by Michael Flynn
Finished book on: Sept 15, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8
American Psycho
by Bret Easton Ellis
Finished book on: July 27, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Silver Wolf
by Alice Borchardt
Finished book on: July 4, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Less Than Zero
by Bret Easton Ellis
Finished book on: July 3, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 7
Bright Lights, Big City
by Jay McInerney
Finished book on: June 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Da Vinci Code
by Dan Brown
Finished book on: June 15, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Forest of Hands and Teeth
by Carrie Ryan
Finished book on: June 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Digital Plague
by Jeff Somers
Finished book on: June 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
God of Clocks
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: May 31, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Turn Coat
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 23, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
Small Favor
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 19, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Blood Rites
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Death Masks
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 16, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Summer Knight
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 13, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Odd Hours
by Dean Koontz
Finished book on: May 10, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Apocalypse Door
by James D. MacDonald
Finished book on: May 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 6.5
Grave Peril
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Apr 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
Servant of the Bones
by Anne Rice
Finished book on: Apr 24, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Lye Street
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Apr 9, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7
Venus Preserved
by Tanith Lee
Finished book on: Apr 6, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Saint Fire
by Tanith Lee
Finished book on: Mar 29, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Iron Angel
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Mar 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Comment: This writer has only published two books, but they're both amazingly imaginative. His world-building is jaw-dropping!
War for the Oaks
by Emma Bull
Finished book on: Mar 19, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 7.5
Princeps' Fury
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Mar 14, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Captain's Fury
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Mar 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Proven Guilty
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 21, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Dead Beat
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
White Night
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 12, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Vampyricon: The Lady of Serpents
by Douglas Clegg
Finished book on: Feb 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Andromeda Strain
by Michael Crichton
Finished book on: Jan 25, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7
Scar Night
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Jan 16, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Dragonhaven
by Robin McKinley
Finished book on: Jan 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 6
Quality of story: 5
Enjoyability: 5.5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Didn't Finish
Shinigami: God of Death
by Django Wexler
Stopped reading: pg. 15
Reason: I wasn't getting into the story.
Solitaire
by Kelley Eskridge
Stopped reading: pg. 15
Reason: So far it's all backstory and a privileged protagonist feeling angsty. I would have liked some plot sooner.
Ragamuffin
by Tobias Buckell
Stopped reading: Unknown, maybe 50 pages in?
Reason: It was actually really good, but I had other books on my TBR pile that I was more excited about getting to, and Ragamuffin was coming due at the library. I'll probably check it out again sometime and finish it.
Roots
by Alex Haley
Stopped reading: pg. 7
Reason: Obviously well-written, but not my cup of tea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Read in 2009
(Ratings out of 10 - consider 6 to be the minimum of what I expect a published book to be.)
Child of Fire
by Harry Connolly
Finished book on: Nov 29, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 9
Enjoyability: 8.5
Ha'penny
by Jo Walton
Finished book on: Nov 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 6
The Eternal Prison
by Jeff Somers
Finished book on: Nov 14, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Unseen Academicals
by Terry Pratchett
Finished book on: Nov 11, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
The Blind Assassin
by Margaret Atwood
Finished book on: Nov 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8
Elfland
by Freda Warrington
Finished book on: Oct 30-ish, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Shadow Magic
by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett
Finished book on: Oct 10, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
The Drowning City
by Amanda Downum
Finished book on: Oct 6, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Eifelheim
by Michael Flynn
Finished book on: Sept 15, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8
American Psycho
by Bret Easton Ellis
Finished book on: July 27, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Silver Wolf
by Alice Borchardt
Finished book on: July 4, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Less Than Zero
by Bret Easton Ellis
Finished book on: July 3, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 6
Enjoyability: 7
Bright Lights, Big City
by Jay McInerney
Finished book on: June 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 9
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Da Vinci Code
by Dan Brown
Finished book on: June 15, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Forest of Hands and Teeth
by Carrie Ryan
Finished book on: June 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Digital Plague
by Jeff Somers
Finished book on: June 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
God of Clocks
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: May 31, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Turn Coat
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 23, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
Small Favor
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 19, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Blood Rites
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Death Masks
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 16, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Summer Knight
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: May 13, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
Odd Hours
by Dean Koontz
Finished book on: May 10, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Apocalypse Door
by James D. MacDonald
Finished book on: May 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 6.5
Grave Peril
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Apr 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8.5
Enjoyability: 8.5
Servant of the Bones
by Anne Rice
Finished book on: Apr 24, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 6.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Lye Street
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Apr 9, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7
Venus Preserved
by Tanith Lee
Finished book on: Apr 6, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Saint Fire
by Tanith Lee
Finished book on: Mar 29, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 8
Iron Angel
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Mar 26, 2009
Quality of writing: 8.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Comment: This writer has only published two books, but they're both amazingly imaginative. His world-building is jaw-dropping!
War for the Oaks
by Emma Bull
Finished book on: Mar 19, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 7.5
Princeps' Fury
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Mar 14, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Captain's Fury
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Mar 5, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Proven Guilty
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 21, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
Dead Beat
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 17, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8.5
White Night
by Jim Butcher
Finished book on: Feb 12, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 8
Enjoyability: 8
The Vampyricon: The Lady of Serpents
by Douglas Clegg
Finished book on: Feb 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 8
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7.5
The Andromeda Strain
by Michael Crichton
Finished book on: Jan 25, 2009
Quality of writing: 7
Quality of story: 7
Enjoyability: 7
Scar Night
by Alan Campbell
Finished book on: Jan 16, 2009
Quality of writing: 7.5
Quality of story: 7.5
Enjoyability: 7.5
Dragonhaven
by Robin McKinley
Finished book on: Jan 7, 2009
Quality of writing: 6
Quality of story: 5
Enjoyability: 5.5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Books I Didn't Finish
Shinigami: God of Death
by Django Wexler
Stopped reading: pg. 15
Reason: I wasn't getting into the story.
Solitaire
by Kelley Eskridge
Stopped reading: pg. 15
Reason: So far it's all backstory and a privileged protagonist feeling angsty. I would have liked some plot sooner.
Ragamuffin
by Tobias Buckell
Stopped reading: Unknown, maybe 50 pages in?
Reason: It was actually really good, but I had other books on my TBR pile that I was more excited about getting to, and Ragamuffin was coming due at the library. I'll probably check it out again sometime and finish it.
Roots
by Alex Haley
Stopped reading: pg. 7
Reason: Obviously well-written, but not my cup of tea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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