Sunday, January 04, 2009

The B. S. Haiku

New Year's Resolution 0001: Blog regularly, i.e. once a week, probably on Sunday evenings.


Yeah, so I always have trouble coming up with proper blog fodder. Either I have a mind-bolt that demands at least three thousand words to explain, or I can't think of a freakin' thing.

Which is how it works with writing novels also, except the word count is much higher.

So I've come up with my own demented way of attacking the dread' blank page: I write haiku--usually featuring rather rude expressions of frustration and self-mockery.

The point is to get my fingers (and imagination) moving, in hope they will keep moving. After all, a haiku is easily erased, and lo! No more scary blank page to wibble in terror before. Muhahaha! More power to the keyboard-poker.

Which is all a long-winded way of warning you that if I stick to my resolution, you're probably going to see Blank Space Haiku on a regular basis.

It's snowing again
Are you certain I can't whine?
My toes are chilly

Erm. And not that I expect anyone to actually play along with something this silly, but if you ever do find yourself writing a B. S. Haiku? Please pop it into a comment anywhere on the blog, and I'll add it to a separate post that not only glorifies your stunning contribution to the high art of B. S. Haiku, but which also links back to you.

Seriously, did
we forget to pay a bill?
More snow. Lots of it

It's like someone took
Frosty's name in vain, and now
his mom is pissed off


pjd said...

It is very zen to create the blank space haiku and then delete it. Just like those sand paintings that Buddhist monks create over months by placing each grain of sand, then sweep it all away. Except BS haiku take a few seconds and tend to be, well, somewhat less spectacular than a Buddhist monk sand painting.

But yours totally rock.

You should play my version of Three Word Wednesday: I write three haiku using the words provided by thomg at the 3WW blog. Let me know if you start playing.

Merry Monteleone said...

I'm really not a haiku person. I don't know why that is, it's just not my favorite rhythm, meter, whatever... but as long as they're BS haiku, then they promise to be amusing :-)

I love the new avatar. Is that a sketch of you, or just some random person?

jjdebenedictis said...

PJD: The zen of bad haiku. Hmm; sounds like a book title.

Hey, your haiku site is really cool! I will try to pop by and once in a while.

Merry: I think I just like doing horrible, horrible things to an otherwise dignified art form. I'm perverse that way.

The sketch is a self-portrait, so yes, that's approximately me. And leaving off the wrinkles is just artistic license. *nods sagely*

Ello said...

I have no
Good haiku for you
Only bad

hee hee

Virginia Lady said...

I don't do Haiku
But you can certainly write
Good B S Haiku

My one and only attempt. Sad, truly sad.

pjd said...

it's three word wednesday
pit your haiku against mine
do you have the guts?

jjdebenedictis said...


That's fine; it's like sex.
Talent counts for much less than

Virginia Lady:

The nice thing about
B.S. is everyone
can be an expert


You don't want to see
my guts stand and deliver.
Not a pretty sight.

(But that gauntlet you just threw down? Consider it snatched up. :-) )

pjd said...

You've already won. Although it doesn't use the 3WW words, the one you wrote @ello can't be beat.

jjdebenedictis said...

PJD: Ah, but making jokes and being obnoxious tends to not go over well in poetry circles...

Pageloads since 01/01/2009: